Mind, Body, and Spirit
by Arukas-Guardian
Summary: Sakura is in great need of help. She is too embarrassed to accept it from anyone, but when she gets help from a doctor, maybe that isn't what has REALLY been helping her through the hard times. Fate has a funny way of twisting things... KakaSaku.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR. U. TO. Obviously… oye.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter One**

Sakura was nauseous and it felt like her head was spinning in a violent manner. She could feel the dampness forming all over her body. A few small sweat drops from her face let gravity take them down to the earth. The only thing she wanted was out. And if she couldn't get out, then the next best thing was help. She needed help, but the ability to voice words was lost and replaced with silence. She suffered in silence. She wanted to scream. Sakura couldn't breath, and she was suffocating.

All she could remember was a pair of blood-red eyes with a black three-pointed star in the middle. And the only suspect with those eyes is Itachi. It was nighttime and Sakura had been outside training in the moonlight, and suddenly a dark figure had appeared out of nowhere. And know she is stuck in this deathly genjutsu.

She could barely think coherent thoughts. If she couldn't scream out loud, then she would scream inside her head. She was quickly losing her grip on reality. _Someone… please… help! _She was begging to who ever the higher power was to let someone find and help her. Her foolish begging started to seem hopeless. All of her wishing _was_ hopeless.

Then it felt like everything was going to fall down. The whole universe was spinning! She was on the verge of the other side. She had no breath left. All she could see was darkness. All she could feel was heat rushing to her head. All she could taste was her own blood. But there was no blood… there was nothing… then it stopped.

Her entire world stopped. The universe was back in order, and everything was slowly becoming normal again. The climax was over. Sakura could breath again. She started to see the trees again, but her vision was still blurry and black spots blocked a clear view of her surroundings.

Sakura took advantage of the gift of oxygen and took a deep long breath. She inhaled and exhaled… inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale…

There was silence for a second or two, but far off in the distance there was a small ringing sound. The soft, barely audible noise sounded like delicate bells ringing. The noise was increasing in sound level. The bells were getting closer, and as they got nearer, the darkness started to envelope Sakura again. She started panicking when the blackness appeared. She did not want to be in that nightmare again, but she had no idea what to do. She thought earlier that the climax was over… but it was just starting.

Her whole body was trembling. The bells were close, and the noise was hurting her ears. And in a quick second, the soft bell noise became a harsh screech. Sakura covered her ears quickly, but the noise was in her head. The screech was high and shrill and it almost sounded like someone screaming… it sounded like… her voice.

Sakura started crying, but she was unaware of the tears falling down her face. All she was focused on was the pain. The voice got louder and louder… and finally it was at the point of being unbearable!

She screamed. She screamed her heart out. She screamed for her _life_. For the first time in the five minutes of hell she finally found herself able to scream. She cried louder than the voice in her head. "_HELP ME!_"

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Kakashi was taking his ritual nightly walk. He was making his way to the memorial stone. As he reached the stone, he sat down on the thick grass. Every time he came here, he felt at peace. The night was always quiet. Silence always swam in the air at the memorial stone.

The night was cold and Kakashi closed his eyes and embraced the sweet moment. He tried keeping his mind empty, but he couldn't help but think about the past year. So many events in such a small amount of time.

All of his old students turned eighteen, they are finally adults… all _three_ of them. Which means that Sasuke Uchiha is back. That event happened exactly one year ago. Naruto dragged him back to the village. It took a couple of months for Sasuke to be accepted by the village, but all that matters is that he is back, and he is a great contribution to Konoha because of his amazing strength and abilities. Sasuke was so strong that he was immediately put on the rank of jonin without having to take the jonin exams, which irritated Naruto for a while. But when Naruto became a jonin, he stopped complaining about his best friend. And Sakura… Kakashi smiled as he thought of his only female student. Sakura is still a chunin. She could easily be a jonin… but she never took the exams. One day Kakashi had asked her why, and her exact words where, "I don't know… I guess… it's because I enjoy working at the hospital. I can be more of a help there. If I did field work all the time, I would not have time at the hospital, and they need me there." What she said was true. Kakashi could tell that she is at peace at the hospital, just like he is at the memorial stone. Also, the hospital _did_ need her. She practically ran the entire place.

Kakashi opened his eyes and looked at the stone, focusing his eye on a particular name. The moonlight fell upon it, and it almost glowed. _Obito…_

Kakashi looked up at the sky. He watched the bright stars and he saw a particular constellation that was made up of five stars. He remembered this constellation… he never saw it in real life before, but he saw it in a book he read a couple years ago. The five stars formed the outlines of a scythe, which made it the Constellation of the Scythe.

Kakashi pondered over this constellation. The book said that the scythe was interpreted as the symbol of Queprur, the goddess of death. She would harvest on the souls of people whose lifespans have ended. The book said that some superstitious people would refrain from coming out of their houses when they saw the Constellation of the Scythe in the sky because it was considered a bad omen. Kakashi just rolled his eyes. He thought superstitions were silly and inane.

Kakashi got up, brushed off his clothes, and he was going to go home. He was tired and he just wanted sleep in his inviting bed… But then he heard it. The desperate cry of a woman… the scared voice of someone yelling, "_HELP ME!_" Kakashi had no time to react. He knew that voice and he followed it. His stomach felt nauseous and he felt like his head was spinning… _Sakura…_

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... o ...

**Author's Note:** Okay… the idea of the story kinda just popped in my head. I always think of random things a lot… Well, anyway, that is Chapter One! It is a little short… sorry about that.

If you noticed, for all of you smart people out there, the beginning and the ending were the same! So they tie in together! I thought that was kinda cool! Okay, next chapter will come eventually... but I have exams that I need to start studying for so… yeah…


	2. Chapter 2

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **reviewing** this story: **Prescripto13, xXxXxXxLoZeRxXxXxXx, Rangerette**

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **adding** this **story** to their **favorites **list: **closetconspiracy,** **xXxXxXxLoZeRxXxXxXx,**

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **adding** this **story** to their **alerts **list:** Prescripto13, Rangerette, cherrybunny, karei uchiha, xXxXxXxLoZeRxXxXxXx**

Hopefully each list will continue to grow…

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously… oye.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Two**

After Sakura screamed for help, the voice in her head subsided. She tightly shut her eyes, trying to relax her inner turmoil, but once again, closing her eyes made no difference. Everything was all in her head… Her body was still covered in nervous sweat, and Sakura's breathing was taken in quick, short breaths.

In replacement to the noise in her head, Sakura started seeing illusions. She imagined seeing Itachi a distance from her, and her first reaction was to run up to him and beat him for what he did to her mind. But he disappeared and then reappeared a couple feet closer to her. And this little game continued until he was approximately three yards away from her. When he stood in place for a second, Sakura made her first move. She sprinted up to him and punched him square in the face, but her hand went right through him, as if he were a ghost. Even though her fist went through Itachi, it still hit something. This invisible object was rough and hard, and her hand felt like there were a hundred sharp splinters piercing her skin. And Itachi vanished.

_Crack… Crash…_

Sakura heard something crack and then fall down. She was confused, but when she saw Itachi again, her questioning thought was erased. And again Sakura ran toward Itachi and tried using a kick instead, but she only got the same result as the last, only now her foot and the lower part of her leg had splinter-like objects punctured in them. Nothing was working…

A random gust of wind blew and Itachi was gone with the wind. The wind whistled and sang an eerie song. Sakura knew she should be worrying, but she felt numb. The silence was ominous and cold shivers crawled over Sakura's skin like spiders. She gulped and took in a deep breath. She closed her eyes, and she found out that that was a bad idea. She opened her eyes when she felt a presence. And when she saw the sight that was set in front of her, she wanted to cry, but all Sakura did was make a weak whimper.

All around her was about one thousand clones of her least favorite person at the moment, Itachi. And all the clones held a kunai. Sakura's head dropped, and her shoulders slumped. _I have to get through this… but it's useless… I can't beat him… Naruto… Sasuke… Kakashi… _If she had time to take a good, long cry, then she would. But she had no time… she _had_ to get through this somehow…she had to… she had to if it's the last thing she does! _I will live!_

Sakura lifted her head bravely, and on her face was a new determined expression. Only one tear traveled down her cheek. And she gave everything she had, and the clones never moved, they just stood there motionless. But somehow, the kunai had already been thrown, and all were aimed at her heart. With a swift movement, Sakura jumped down to the ground, landing on her stomach. She made an 'oomph' sound when the impact took the breath right out of her. But this attempt was successful, at least _she_ thought it was. The kunai aimed at Sakura did not even graze her, instead each weapon hit one of the clones. And one by one, each clone vanished.

Finally there were only three clones left. Each one poofed into smoke, but the last one exploded. The extensive blast made no noise, but it made much debris. Billions, maybe trillions, of thorny splinters went flying in each and every direction. All Sakura felt like she could do was try to defend herself. She flung her arms maniacally trying to block the oncoming splinters, but she was only punching air… and when she punched and kicked and fought, only more splinters appeared. And then the worst part came back. The noise. There was too much noise in her head! She just kept fighting recklessly, and she didn't care. Sakura was in a blind rage.

Sakura thought that Itachi was still present as he played games with her head, but actually the truth was that he had left the second he had her trapped in the genjutsu. Itachi was now nowhere near Konoha, let alone Sakura.

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Kakashi could pinpoint exactly where Sakura's scream had come from. He knew she was at the training grounds, and even with all of his speed, it took him at least three minutes to reach his destination. He just hoped that he wasn't three minutes too late.

As Kakashi reached the surrounding trees of the training ground, he noticed that a lot of the trees were broken, fallen down, and/or in a state of splinters… he knew that Sakura must have been the cause of such destruction…

He jumped out from the trees and he saw the pink hair of his old student. But something was wrong. Her arms were flailing crazily and it looked like she couldn't see anything… she was constantly punching trees, getting splinters everywhere. Her face was in a grimace; she was clearly experiencing some kind of mental pain…

Kakashi ran up to Sakura, dodging her punches in the process. "Sakura!" He tried calling out to her, but she couldn't hear him; she was stuck in the hell of her own mind. Kakashi had no idea what could have happened to her. It was as if her sanity had snapped and she had gone crazy!

"_Sakura_! What happened?!"

Kakashi tried to get her attention, but it was impossible. She was still punching the air and everything that was around her. But then she abruptly stopped. She stood still and her face went blank. Then it paled into a ghostly white color. There was stillness in the air, but with that silence came suspense. Sakura was anchored to the ground with a dull look gracing her face, and it scared him. Kakashi slowly walked closer to Sakura, taking caution along the way.

When Kakashi stood about one foot from Sakura, he whispered her name. But no reply; it was like she was paralyzed on the spot. Kakashi lifted his hands and placed them on Sakura's slumped shoulders. He gently shook her. But still nothing happened. He stared at her face and looked into her void green eyes. Kakashi was taken aback when he suddenly saw a quick flash in her eyes. As if life had been given to them. "Sakura…?"

Sakura could only see darkness again. She could feel the presence of someone… and something was on her shoulders. Thinking it was Itachi, she struggled to get free. "No! _Itachi!_ Stop!"

When Kakashi heard that name… he froze. He tried not to feel scared, but when it comes to that man… it is almost impossible for anyone to not be afraid. But he could not sense anyone near by… At least he knew what happened to Sakura. She was stuck in a deathly genjutsu that was the effect of the sharingan.

Sakura started to hear the bells again, and she knew what would come after that… so she screamed again and started making useless attacks, once again punching into the nothingness. Kakashi grabbed her upper arms with his hands, trying to make her thrusting stop. "Sakura, listen to me!"

Now Sakura was crying. Crying out of pain, frustration, and fear. She wanted to give up, but she _knew_ that the _second_ she did so, she would have no chance in over coming this obstacle. She would lose. And not just a battle. She would lose her life…

Then she heard the screech again and she could not take it any longer. Sakura let her body go limp so she could fall to the ground, but something kept her up.

"Sakura!"

She could faintly hear her name over the screaming voice in her head. Someone was calling her… this person sounded worried. Her vision must have been giving her false conclusions because she could have sworn she saw a head of silver.

Kakashi held Sakura's body. He knew of only one way to help her. But if done incorrectly, it could make things worse. But he _knew_ he had to do it now, before it was too late. His heart was racing and he was in a panic-like state, but he had to be calm if he wanted to do this right. He didn't want to make things worse.

Kakashi took a deep breath, and he lifted up his forehead protector, revealing his _own_ sharingan eye. The tomoes started twirling as Kakashi's eye was entranced in Sakura's gaze. His old student's green eyes widened and tried to resist, thinking it was the eldest Uchiha, but Kakashi took quick hold of her hands before she could do any damage.

With his sharingan, Kakashi entered the depths of Sakura's mind. He then saw what she saw. He could only see blackness and a large red eye, his eye, staring at him. Kakashi's plan was to put Sakura in an unconscious state, and that what he was going to do.

Slowly, Kakashi put Sakura's mind to rest. And the last thing she saw before drifting away was a red eye with a scar…

Kakashi picked up the corpse-like body of Sakura and made his way to Hokage Tower. _I have to get Tsunade…_ When he looked down at his old student, he hated to say it, but he pitied her. She would not want his pity or sympathy so he tried to not think about it. But looking at her, it was hard. Her whole body was just… beaten. But it wasn't her physical condition that he was worried about.

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... o ... o ...

... o ...

**Author's Note: **Chapter One was short so I tried to make this chapter slightly longer… but it really wasn't that much longer… I really should be studying for exams, but instead I am typing this.

**IMPORTANT: **This _may_ be the last update before I leave for the holidays. But I think I might be able to squeeze one more chapter before the day I'm leaving, but if not, I'll be back not too long from now. Anyway, HAPPY HOLIDAYS to everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **reviewing** this story: **Prescripto13, xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx, Rangerette, 1kenshinlover, jewel9992, Krazi Kelli**

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **adding** this **story** to their **favorites **list: **closetconspiracy,** **xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx**

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **adding** this **story** to their **alerts **list:** becky amada, bittenxcore, cherrybunny, jewel9992, karei uchihat, Krazi Kelli, OneSong05, Prescripo13, Rangerette, xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx,**

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Three**

It is morning in the beautiful village of Konoha, but today is not such a beautiful day. There has been a downpour since the early morning, making the skies quite dark and forlorn. The entire village seemed depressed and quiet. The usually busy and prosperous streets were empty and puddle-filled. The grassy training grounds used by practicing ninja are now slippery, muddy, and rendered useless.

Setting the scene on the east side of the village, there lived Konoha's number-one-hyper-active-hokage-wannabe, Naruto Uzumaki. It is still too early for this unique individual to be awake, for he is still dreaming pleasant dreams. And just a mile or two from this ninja's abode, is the residence of a very strong, nearly extinct, clan. Entering the halls of the Uchiha Manor, one will find the shadowed room of Sasuke Uchiha. This shinobi, too, is asleep. But instead of dreams, he is enjoying the fact that he has no nightmares. The two comrades are complete opposites of each other, but they have two things in common at the moment. One, both are oblivious to the rain that is pouring down on their roofs; two, both shinobi are unaware that the third member of their three-man team is in the hospital on life-support.

It is scary to think that a friend could be suffering and you don't even know until it is too late.

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It had been another late night of doing nothing but meaningless paperwork for Tsunade. But she did manage to sneak some sake and make the night a little fun. Her eyes were about to close while her head was making its way for the desk, ready to rest. But then Kakashi had abruptly barged in through the doors, which woke her up slightly. She looked up toward the copy ninja and then her eyes slowly glanced over to the lump in Kakashi's arms.

"Tsu–" But her eyes had already seen her apprentice's limp body.

"_SAKURA!"_

Tsunade, Sakura's mother figure, almost had a heart attack when she saw her apprentice in Kakashi's arms. What she wanted to know was: Who, What, When, and Where. But mostly just _Who_. Who dared to do the unspeakable? Who dared to do _this _to _her_ apprentice. _Her_ ap-pren-tice. Coinciding with her rage, Tsunade was worried. Actually worry is a subtle word to describe what she felt. There was no exact word, but maybe a mixture of distress, anxiety, and pain could start the recipe of this undefined feeling.

It is scary to think that someone who you think of as your own child could be gone right before your eyes, and you didn't even have a chance to _try_ to help.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Kakashi just watched as Tsunade performed surgery on his student. Tsunade and Sakura were inside the room, as he stood outside, looking at the scene through the window. He didn't blink, move, or breathe. Or so it seemed… He was nothing more than a doll glued to the floor.

Watching the surgery did not bother him. The blood all over Sakura's body and on Tsunade's clothes did not make him nervous. Kakashi was actually pretty nonchalant about everything.

It was short, the surgery that is. Tsunade had begun about thirty minutes ago, more or less, and it looked like she was wrapping up. The green glow from the blonde's hands dimmed down, and she smoothly removed her latex gloves. She started to write something down on paper with an unreadable expression on her face. When the powerful woman sighed and made her way to the doorway, Kakashi unconsciously straightened up. Tsunade walked out of the room and she only had to walk a couple more feet to reach Kakashi.

"Do you know what happened?" Asked the great Hokage with a slow and steady tone, as if she was taking her time to say the words.

"All I know is that it was Itachi. When I found Sakura, I checked the perimeter of the training ground, but I couldn't sense anything or any_one_. By the time I had gotten there, he was long gone," said Kakashi in the same tone that Tsunade just used.

"I see."

Tsuande's gaze that was once on the man before her, drifted down to the floor. It was quiet for a couple of seconds. Neither of the shinobi knew what to say. But what could be said? But finally Tsunade broke the awkward silence.

"The surgery went well, which was expected. It was a very basic procedure, so her physical condition is stable at the moment."

"I see…" Kakashi drawled his speech.

Both of the elite shinobi were trying to avoid the obvious. Which would be Sakura's mental state. No one wanted to even mention it. Tsunade looked up and stared at Kakashi.

"Go home, Kakashi. Get some rest. That's what I'll be doing." And with that, she yawned and turned away, her back facing Kakashi. In a lower voice, Tsunade said, "Don't worry. I'm having ANBU watch over Sakura over night. They are already in the next room, waiting for us to take our leave... I won't let anything happen to her."

Tsunade walked away from the copy ninja, taking long strides through the hallway. Kakashi watched her until she reached the end of the hall and turned left, toward the exit. The man sighed, closed his eyes and then opened them. He really was tired, but he could not move from his spot. Right where he stood, he had the prefect view through the window into Sakura's hospital room.

She lay motionless on the bed, except for the very slow, very subtle up and down movement of her chest as she breathed through the oxygen mask. Even though the surgery was complete, Sakura was still on life-support. Kakashi just hoped that she wasn't having any nightmares.

It's scary watching someone, _anyone_, on a hospital bed after surgery and on life-support. It's even scarier when it's someone you know. It's the scariest when it's someone you care about.

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**Author Note: **HA! I was able to put my brain to work and update before I left for a week! Sorry if there are any grammatical errors. I was in a rush… I'm leaving tomorrow and it's late and I have to wake up early and I need to go to bed! Tomorrow is Christmas Eve so Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!


	4. Chapter 4

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **reviewing** this story: **1kenshinlover, jewel9992, Krazi Kelli,Prescripto13, Rangerette, xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx**

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **adding** this **story** to their **favorites **list: **closetconspiracy,** **xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx**

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **adding** this **story** to their **alerts **list:** anbu10, becky amada, bittenxcore, cherrybunny, jewel9992, karei uchihat, Krazi Kelli, OneSong05, Prescripo13, Rangerette, xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx**

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Four**

The sun rose not too long ago, creating a yellow and orange tinge to the once dark and cloudy sky. The weather managed to clear up enough for people to go outside and start their daily schedules…

Sasuke and Naruto had been waiting at their designated spot for a little more than a half hour. Their team leader, Kakashi Hatake, had said yesterday morning that Team 7 would meet at the bridge and train together. Their leader was late. As usual. Naruto and Sasuke expected him to be tardy, but where in the world was their pink-haired teammate? She has never been late. _Never._ And this aspect worried them a bit. The two shinobi's patience was running short, and they would not mind, heck they wouldn't even care, to start training without Kakashi, but it did not seem right start without Sakura.

Naruto plopped himself down on the ground into a sitting position, and he closed his eyes. Sasuke already had his eyes closed, thinking. The Uchiha was leaning his back against the railing of the bridge with his arms crossed over his chest. Sasuke heard a strange noise that sounded like a crack, but he ignored it. _Crack. Crack. _Sasuke shot open his eyes and started looking around. He took caution, as any shinobi would do. He took out a kunai and got into stance. Sasuke whispered, "Naruto, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Naruto whispered back.

"The cracking noise…" It was silent. After a few seconds… _Crack._

Quickly, Sasuke whispered, "That noise. You heard it, right?"

There was silence for not even the smallest second because Naruto burst out into hysterical laughter. "Ha! Ha! Ha! You thought…. Ha! Ha! Ha!..."

"Shut up! It could be an enemy…" Sasuke needed his loud friend to be quiet. Naruto could be risking both of their lives by just being his usual boisterous self.

Naruto stopped laughing, got up from the ground, and walked over to Sasuke. The blond shinobi still had a goofy smile on his face, trying his best to suppress his laughter. He stood in front of Sasuke, and lifted his hands, and cracked them…

"You see, it was just me!" Naruto started laughing again. "I can't believe you _actually _thought tha–" Naruto was cut off because Sasuke decided to vent out his annoyance by pushing Naruto off the bridge and into the water below.

"_Argh!_ What the hell, Sasuke! You didn't have to do…" Sasuke just rolled his eyes as Naruto mumbled and swam his way back to the bridge. When the loud shinobi finally managed to reach his destination, he sat back down and was quiet. Except for the few low grumbles he made every now and then…

"This is ridiculous," said Sasuke in an annoyed tone.

"I know! Now I have wet clothes…"

"Not that! I was talking about us waiting here for the remaining members of our team! They obviously have neglected to come and I'm better off going home." Sasuke was on his last thread. He was on a whole new level of agitation.

"Sakura wouldn't neglect us!" Naruto had the urge to defend his friend.

Sasuke grew quiet, but finally said, "I know… but Kakashi probably would…"

"Yeah," Naruto had to agree, but he started to think of Sakura and why she was not with them. "Maybe we should go look for Sakura…"

"That won't be necessary," came the smooth, unexpected voice of Kakashi Hatake.

"Gah! Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto was actually surprised when he saw the silver-haired man.

"Hello, Naruto, Sasuke," Kakashi said curtly.

Kakashi unexpectedly appeared in his expected way, through a puff of smoke. Once the smoke dissipated, one could see the elite shinobi standing on the bridge's hard railing with his arms crossed. His face was serious… or maybe it was emotionless…

"You're _late_!" Screamed Naruto. But then he realized that his companion whom he says this famous line with was missing. He frowned and asked, "Where were you? And where's Sakura? She's not here and I, well _we_," he said looking over to Sasuke, "don't know where she is." Sasuke simply nodded his head.

Kakashi sighed and jumped down from the railing. He landed smoothly. He closed his strained eyes and replied, "I was busy. Sakura was busy, too, and she is _still_ busy so don't go looking for her."

"_What?_" Naruto just looked utterly confused. Kakashi's reply even got Sasuke curious. He asked, "What do you mean by _busy_?" The Uchiha raised and eyebrow and had a staring contest with Kakashi for a few seconds. Kakashi finally broke the foolish game and decided to be the adult of the group.

"Well, why are we all just standing here? This is a training ground! Now let's start training!" His voice did not sound excited. He was using a harsh tone. As if he was angry. And to Naruto, it is _very_ intimidating when he uses that voice.

Sasuke, the bolder of the two, decided to speak his mind. "What's up with you?" But the silver-haired, aggravated shinobi ignored him and started making his way to the center of the wet training field. "Ready?" He yelled from a distance.

Naruto was afraid of his old sensei and Sasuke just muttered, "This should be interesting." The raven-haired man could tell that Kakashi was in one of those moods. Moods that he himself often had. Bad moods. Sasuke already knew that today's training will definitely be harder, but he almost looked forward to the challenge. He smirked and made his way to the training field. When Naruto saw his friend walking toward Kakashi, he sighed and followed.

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Sasuke and Naruto were both right in their respected opinions. Sasuke knew that the day's training would be harder, and it was. Naruto was afraid of his former sensei before the training began, and he had a good reason to be. Kakashi actually used his sharingan on them, and that was _very _rare. The oldest shinobi among them, seemed as if he was going all out. Kakashi used fire jutsu, water jutsu, earth jutsu… the list went on. Both younger shinobi were almost out of breath, but Kakashi would not stop. They had all been sparring for who knows how long and they were still going at it.

Breathlessly Naruto said, "Kakashi… we should (pant) …we need (pant) to stop…" As he said this, he had to dodge Kakashi's taijutsu moves.

Sasuke ran from behind a tree and made a silly attempt of attacking Kakashi head-on. Kakashi easily dodged his attack. "Kakashi…" Even the heir of the Uchihas was tired. "You're fighting us as if we're enemies!"

Kakash was filled with anger. Somehow he needed to get rid of it. But this is not the right way. Making other people suffer because of your own problems is not right…

Kakashi stopped his punching and kicking… Naruto and Sasuke were surprised. Flabbergasted. Kakashi turned around to face his old male students. "Sorry. I guess that was over doing it a bit…" He gave out a nervous chuckle and scratched the back of his neck.

"That's all of today's training…" The once angry man calmed down enough to be rational with his actions. Kakashi sighed and used his escaping jutsu to leave the place where he just made a fool of himself, leaving behind one confused Uchiha and one very confused Uzumaki.

... o ... o ... o ...

... o ... o ...

... o ...

**Author's Note:** I personally hate this chapter. I really did not enjoy writing it… I thought about maybe re-doing it, but I really don't want to bother. I needed to post something up before all of my wonderful readers lost interest or just stopped reading because I don't update… This is like a filler chapter… super boring. But don't worry, there are many things to look forward to next chapter!

_Next Chapter:_ Sakura wakes up from her sleep. Will she want to tell Sasuke and Naruto what happened? How would Sasuke react knowing that his brother did this? Will it be a repeat of six years ago when he left? Kakashi is simply floating in all of this commotion.


	5. Chapter 5

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **reviewing** this story:

**1kenshinlover, Billy-Gil, darksoulwolf, jewel9992, Krazi Kelli,Prescripto13, Rangerette, Red n Black Roses, Sakra-chan, xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx5**

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**closetconspiracy,** **Sakra-chan , xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx**

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**anbu10, becky amada, Billy-Gil, bittenxcore, cherrybunny, darksoulwolf, jewel9992, karei uchihat, kaorugirl, Konoha's White Fang, Krazi Kelli, OneSong05, Prescripo13, Rangerette, Red n Black Roses, Sakra-chan, Sakura15243, xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx**

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Five**

"It's been four days…"

"I know," said Tsuande.

"Naruto and Sasuke keep asking about her."

"I would expect that…"

Kakashi went silent. What was he supposed to do? Worry about Sakura twenty-four/seven? He has to go on missions. He has to catch up on his reading. He had other things to do… But as he thought about it, all of these things seemed, no, _were_ trivial when compared to dealing with someone's fragile life. Finally he spoke.

"How's her condition?"

"Stable," said the Hokage, "But she's in a coma. Now we are just waiting for her to wake up."

Tsunade and Kakashi both knew that comas were never good. It could be a day or a _year_ until Sakura wakes up. She will wake up when she's ready. When her mind, body and spirit are ready to deal with the consequences of waking up from a nightmare and only to be met with a whole new nightmare.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Naruto and Sasuke just finished a two-day mission. The mission was not too difficult, but both shinobi were distracted by two things. One, why was Kakashi so pissed off the other day? And two, where the _hell _was Sakura! They both went to the hospital to get a few minor wounds fixed up, and they had to get healed by a _foreign_, as in someone other than Sakura, doctor. Naruto and Sasuke did _not_ enjoy the experience of a different doctor.

On their way out, Sasuke saw something unusual. In a quiet and secluded part of the hospital, there was a hospital room with two ANBU guarding each side of the door. Sasuke narrowed his eyes and made a beeline to the suspicious room and, of course, Naruto followed him.

Sasuke stopped right in front of the door and asked why there were ANBU guarding the door. But neither of the two elite masked-ninja answered. Naruto peeked over Sasuke's shoulder and saw the two ANBU. His eyes widened and he walked out from behind Sasuke. Naruto, being is usually loud self, yelled to the ANBU, "So, who's in the room?" But still no response. "Can I go in?" Naruto lifted up his hand to the doorknob, but it was quickly slapped away by the ANBU on the left.

"_Ow!_" Naruto started rubbing his sore hand that was slowly turning red.

After the slap, the ANBU on the right eventually said, "No one is permitted to enter this room, unless accompanied by the Hokage."

"Yeah, well, who made up that stupid rule? Hmm?" Naruto said in a sing-song manner. Sasuke rolled his eyes as he watched his friend make an idiot out of himself.

"The Hokage," answered the masked-nin.

Naruto continued his child-like rambling. "Well, you see, I go pretty far back with Old Tsunade and I really doubt she would mind if…" As he said this, his hand slowly made its way closer to the doorknob. He actually thought he could get passed the two ANBU unnoticed. Wrong.

Naruto's hand got slapped away again. "_Jeez!_ It's as if you're guarding gold or something…" Sasuke shook his head. As Naruto was displaying his stupidity, Sasuke tried sensing if there was a chakra present in the room, but he could not detect any. Either there was a civilian in the room, which would be strange considering ANBU were obviously there to make sure nothing happened to the person in the room, or there was a dead/almost-dead shinobi in the room.

"Let's go," Sasuke said, "They obviously don't want us around."

Sasuke was already walking away from the door, and Naruto didn't want to be left behind so he just said, "Fine." But both of the shinobi hadn't walked five steps when they heard a loud scream.

"_**AHHHH**_"

The scream came from inside the room. The two ANBU looked at each other. One disappeared, on his way to the Hokage, and the other bolted inside the room. Then he came out, grabbed a doctor, and went back inside.

Naruto and Sasuke were alarmed and rushed over to the door, but the ANBU came out and told them scram, that this did not concern them, and that if they don't leave, he will have to use force on them. They complied, thinking it was best not to interrupt and make things worse, especially if it did not concern them. Why should they worry over someone who they did not even know? But still, they were curious. Naruto and Sasuke had been planning on making a visit to the Hokage to ask about Sakura, now they just had one more thing to ask about.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Inside Sakura's room it was very dark. The lights were off and the windows shut. There was no light to disturb her sleep. The room was very serene, tranquil, quiet… just by entering the room someone could easily drift off to sleep. There's no reason why anyone should wake up and scream.

Sakura woke up from a black nothingness, no dreams or nightmares, just _nothing_, and she took in her surroundings. She recognized it as a hospital room. She was okay with that. Then she tried lifting her arm, but it felt so _heavy_. When Sakura finally managed to lift it, she stopped breathing and observed her arm. There were several tubes inside of it, and there was an IV attached to her. She lifted her hand up to touch her face, but something plastic was stopping her from touching her mouth. An oxygen mask. She was afraid. Sakura's homeostasis was off, her entire body felt like she was going to have a panic attack. When she was asleep, her body was stable, but now that she is awake, Sakura is completely off balance. She felt dizzy. Her whole world was spinning… the last time she felt this bad was when… Sakura took a quick intake of breath. Her throat tightened as she slowly processed what had happened to her. A rush of panic-filled questions bombarded her head. How did she get here? How long has she been here? What day is it? Where is everyone?

Sakura's body started tingling. It felt like little ants were crawling all over her. Sakura tensed up. Her nerves were having a spazz attack. All of the tubes… the IV… the oxygen mask… all of it was too much for her to handle! She started to deal with the situation in a very poor conduct.

Sakura ripped off all of the tubes and the IV that were connected to her arms. She tore off the oxygen mask and threw it to the floor. She got up from the bed a little too hurriedly because her legs gave in and she fell to the floor. Sakura raised her hands up to her vision and stared at them. Then she put them on her head as if she had a _huge _migraine. When she couldn't think of anything else to do, she screamed.

"_**AHHHH**_"

... o ... o ... o ...

... o ... o ...

... o ...

**Author's Note:** Okay. I'm pretty happy with this chapter. The story is finally getting to the important part. All of the past chapters were like the foundation for the real thing… sorry that it took so long. I hope you at least enjoyed the ride! There may not have been much progress in this chapter, but at least Sakura finally woke up! Yay! …. Ok, that's it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Six**

"_**AHHHH!**_"

Immediately after Sakura screamed, an ANBU rushed in. When she saw him come into her room, she started to panic even more. Sakura did not trust _anyone anymore_. For all she knew, the ANBU could be Itachi disguised. There was _no way_ she was letting him near her.

When the ANBU saw the pink-haired woman, whom he was ordered to guard, he was nearly shocked. Only _nearly_ because, in his profession, he was trained to never be surprised about anything. He had seen Sakura around Konoha, at the hospital, and he'd even been teamed up with her on a mission once, and he did not believe his eyes. Could this frightened little girl be the same strong-willed, fearless woman he knew? He did not _know_ the konoichi well, but he knew her enough to understand that it would take _a lot_ to break her thick walls.

When he finally broke out of his thoughts, he noticed that she no longer had her oxygen mask on and the IV was no longer attached to her arm. He went for his first instinct and went out quickly to grab a doctor. Once he found the doctor, he brought him to the room.

As both men entered the room, Sakura noticeably tensed up. She still sat on the floor by her bed, and she looked up, locking gazes with the ANBU and then the doctor. The doctor slowly made one step closer to Sakura, as if she was about to attack him, and spoke to her as if speaking to a child.

"Sakura… remember me? I'm Dr. Tanaka. We did an autopsy together last month… remember? I'm your friend. Not enemy…"

Dr. Tanaka took one more step closer to Sakura, but she screamed, "No! Stay away! Don't you even _think_ about getting near me! If you do… I'll… I'll… Just stay away!"

"Sakura… I need to put you back on your medications… so I'll need you to get back on the bed. But you're too weak to do it yourself, so please let at least one of us help you."

Sakura weakly shook her head. "No," she said softly, "No. Don't put those… those… _tubes_ back inside of me! I won't let you… I don't trust you… I don't trust _anyone_!

Dr. Tanaka and the ANBU started speaking in low, hushed voices that Sakura could not hear. "I don't know what to do… she needs to rest. She needs to get back on that bed… I need Lady Tsuande. That's the only thing I can think of… I can't do this myself," said Dr. Tanaka hopelessly. He wanted to help, but in the long run, he just couldn't.

The ANBU whispered in reply, "I know. My partner is on his way to get Lady Tsunade as we speak. She should be here soon. _Really _soon."

Dr. Tanaka nodded his head, slightly relieved. Then he turned his attention to Sakura, who was just staring at the floor. When he spoke her name, she nearly jumped. In a shaky voice she said, "W-what?"

"You may not trust us, but what about Lady Tsunade? When she comes, will you let her help you? Hmm? How about that?"

At that very moment, Sakura thought about how she said that she trusted no one. But she was wrong. Right then and there, she could immediately think of four people she could trust with her life, no matter how screwed up she was in the head, she knew that she would always trust them. Naruto, Sasuke, Tsunade, and Kakashi.

Her answer was a no-brainer. "Fine," she said, "But neither of you come any closer until Tsunade is here. _Understood_?" Both men nodded their heads, praying that their Hokage would get there as soon as possible.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Tsunade was still discussing important matters with the copy-ninja when…

"Lady Tsunade!"

The Hokage's head perked up a bit as she turned her head to the entry way to her office. "_What_?" She asked irritated looking at the ANBU who barged in on her conversation. She had a lot to deal with at the moment, and she didn't need another problem to deal with.

"You're needed at the hospital!"

"_Why_?"

"Sakura!"

Simultaneously, Tsunade, Kakashi, and the ANBU disappeared in a flash, only leaving an empty room filled with smoke.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Sakura sat on the cold floor for what felt like an entire lifetime. Every second mattered. Every precious second that prolonged her life… She felt hopeless, useless, like a rag doll dropped on the floor that someone needed to pick up. Sakura felt ashamed of herself. Inside, she knew that the doctor and the ANBU were just trying to help her, but could she take the chance of them plotting against her? Planning her downfall? Her demise? Could she be positive that they _really_ were allies?

Sakura clung to the only thing she truly had. Her life. She no longer trusted people, including herself. She felt like she lost her sanity long ago, and her mind is now filled with swirling and confused thoughts. In her current position, all she could do was rely on other people, a habit she broke several years ago, and a habit she no longer wanted. Everything was wrong.

It was quiet. No one said a word as they all waited. Sakura kept her eyes closed and concentrated on deep breathing. No one in the room made eye contact with Sakura, thinking it would be a dangerous idea. And it would have been.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Footsteps… more footsteps… three pairs of feet running hurriedly down the halls of the hospital...

"_Where is she!_" Boomed the voice of the Hokage.

Tsunade had given strict orders to the two ANBU she had assigned to guard her apprentice. She told them that every night, Sakura was to be placed in a different room of the hospital, for safety reasons, that is why she yelled to the whole hospital staff, asking where Sakura was. Also, the second that Sakura woke up, one of the ANBU were to contact her _immediately_. No matter what. And that's what they had done. Mission complete. Almost.

"This way, Lady Hokage," said the ANBU who told Tsunade the news of her student.

Sakura could hear the commotion that was going outside the walls that kept her inside. She wanted Tsunade to come, but she felt embarrassed in her present state. She was being nothing more than a baby… at least that's what she thought. Crawled up in a ball on the floor, refusing help… how childish, and yet, Sakura still did not bother getting up.

Sakura was also worried about the two other people that were with Tsunade. What would they think of her when they saw her on the tiled-floor? Would they think less of her? Surely these people knew who she was, and what her status in this village meant to her. She was thought of highly in Konoha, and if this little secret got out to the public, how would people treat her?

Sakura quickly stopped thinking, breathing, and moving when she heard the door creak open. She closed her eyes, waiting for her doom. She didn't want to see the other two people who came with Tsunade. She only wanted Tsunade. Sakura thought she sounded like a child who wanted her Mommy, which, in a way, Tsunade is like her mother. But still, she did not want to open her eyes and look up. She _really _did not want to open her eyes and look up. The room just got a lot hotter.

Sakura heard several pairs of feet leave and then the door closed. She took a _huge_ chance and opened her eyes, but not looking up. She saw two pairs of feet. Tsunade and a mystery person who wore standard ninja sandals. Sakura kept her eyes down to the floor, about ready to close them again.

"Sakura," said a voice that was _way_ too low to be Tsunade's.

_It couldn't be… could it? Kakashi?_

... o ... o ... o ...

... o ... o ...

... o ...

**Author's Note: **Oh my goodness! You guys went crazy with the reviews last chapter! I feel so loved! Please keep it up! Who knows… maybe I won't update again until I get 40 reviews… Just kidding. Not really. Just kidding. Sorta.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **reviewing** this story:

**1kenshinlover, ****4 the luv of Vincent,**** anbu10, Billy-Gil, darksoulwolf, GoEatWormsxx, In True Meanings, jewel9992, Krazi Kelli,****Prescripto13, Rangerette, Red n Black Roses, roxnroll, Sakra-chan, Sakura15243, ShadowxShinobi, xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx5**

I would like to say **thank you** to the following people for **adding** this **story** to their **favorites **list:

**Billy-Gil, bones-angel, closetconspiracy,** **GoEatWormsxx,** **Sakra-chan , xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx**

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**4 the luv of Vincent, Billy-Gil, Exceptional Incongruous, Konoha's White Fang, Krazi Kelli, OneSong05, Pookster, Prescripto13, Rangerette, Red n Black Roses, Sakra-chan, Sakura15243, XoXSubaku-no-MagentaXoX, Zetnnik, anbu10, animefan28, becky amada, bittenxcore, cherrybunny, coolteen92, darksoulwolf, eyeliner0tears, headeranderson, jewel9992, kaorugirl, karei uchiha, moderndayportia, xXxXxXxCelestial HeavenxXxXxXx, xlillypotterx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Seven**

"Sakura," said a voice that was way too low to be Tsunade's.

_It couldn't be… could it? Kakashi?_

It was. She knew it was. Sakura did not need to open her eyes to reveal the answer to her question. It was just too blatantly obvious. _Could I possibly be hallucinating? No way. I saw his feet right there not too far from me. Next to Tsuande's. He is here. In this room with me._

Kakashi and Tsunade were the only ones in this private room with the pink-haired patient. Oh, how ironic was it that she was the patient! Sakura couldn't help but find the situation funny, but in a horrible, twisted version of funny. She almost felt like laughing, but in a bitter tone, of course.

Sakura was relieved that her two saviors were there, but still, she felt humiliated. There was no courage in her to actually make eye contact with the two persons. If it was flipped around, and one of _her_ friends were in _her_ current condition and felt embarrassed, Sakura would put a hand on his or her shoulder tell them, "Things happen to the best of us. Don't be ashamed. There's no reason for you to be." Then she would smile at them and make them feel a world better… She should be telling this to herself, taking her own advice. But no. Sakura was being a hypocrite and was not following her own morals. She felt like there was a reason to be ashamed. Sakura thought that the person to blame for letting this happen to her is herself. She is to blame because she was too weak to fight against Itachi. Sakura was ashamed of herself for not being strong enough… Even if she told herself not to be ashamed and that what happened could have happened to anyone, she would not fell any better. Sakura needed someone else to tell her those special words… if someone told her, then _maybe_ she would believe…maybe.

Tsunade mumbled something incoherent to Kakashi. Sakura honestly had no idea what the Hokage told him, but the next thing Sakura knew Kakashi was making his way over to her. Sakura could feel herself unconsciously inching away from him, closer to the bed. _Why is he coming toward me? _Sakura's eyes, still only focusing on the floor, watched as Kakashi's feet came closer and closer until they were right in front of her. Sakura squeezed her eyes shut and waited in agony. Her heart racing, body sweating, mind racing, breath short and intermittent… Sakura had no enjoyment in these few seconds of torture as she waited for Kakashi to do something. _Oh my God. He's crouching down._ Sakura could sense the silver-haired man crouching down and getting closer to her. _Why is he…?_

Then Sakura felt hands on her body and she was slowly and steadily being picked up off the floor by Kakashi. He held her gently in the form of bridal-style. His hands that her on her arms were warm, especially when compared to Sakura's cold and numb body. It sent a hot sensation through her body and Sakura opened her eyes. She looked up at Kakashi's face, which was looking straight ahead focusing on what was before him. He looked so determined. He always does. Sakura couldn't help but admire that trait of him. He doesn't let one problem bring him down. Kakashi, when faced with a challenge, prevails. Always. _I used to be like that… what happened to me?_

As Sakura was placed onto the stiff hospital bed, she slowly slipped back into her depressive mood. All she seemed to do lately is berate herself. Sakura could not even remember the last time she gave herself a compliment or a congratulations. But she needed to stop thinking about these things. The important thing right at this moment was getting out of the current nightmare. She would deal with her self-esteem and her many other problems later.

Kakashi now stood on the left side of the bed, and Tsuande walked over to the other side and sat on the wooden stool beside the bed. There was no escaping it. Either way she looked, Sakura would have to deal with what she had been dreading. _They purposely went on both sides of me… figures. _Sakura sighed and arranged her pillows so she could be in a sitting position on her bed. Once she was situated, Tsunade finally spoke.

"Sakura, it would be a stupid question to ask how you are, but physically, you are fine. I know you're tired, but if you rest for a couple days, you'll be fine. Now, mentally, you may be _damaged_. I can't justify whether or not your mind is okay. Tests were done to see if there was any brain damage and luckily there wasn't. But only _you_ can tell if there is _really_ something wrong. So if anything happens, tell me. I've already spoken to a psychiatrist–"

"A _what!_"

"–about you and it is your decision whether or not you wish to partake in the sessions with the doctor.

_Does she honestly think that I am so pathetic that I need another doctor's help! Ridiculous! I will never go to a shrink! Never!_

"And also, Sakura, I am suspending you from the hospital until I feel you are up to it, and–"

"_What!_"

"Sakura, I don't think your outbursts are helping any," said Kakashi so calmly.

Sakura stared at him and then she looked to her mentor. _How can she do that to me… To me, not working at the hospital would be like… the world ending. The hospital is my _life._ It's what makes me, _me.

"Lady Tsunade, please, you can't… the hospital…"

"Will survive without you."

"But…" Frustrated tears started forming in Sakura's eyes, but she refused to let them fall because if she did, it would only prove how weak she was. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. Sakura nearly jumped and she looked up to the owner. Kakashi. _Why is he being so nice to me…_

Kakashi understood. He understood how hard this would be for her. The hospital is her home away from home. Her comfort place. And without it, Sakura probably felt lost. Like she had no place to go. Kakashi knew what it felt like to lose something like that. Sakura needed a friend. And right now, he was the only one fit for the job for several reasons. First of all, he was the only one, beside Tsunade, that knew about what happened to Sakura, and two, Kakashi knew that Sakura trusted him. Their trust in each other ran deeper than teammates or simple friends. A trust that takes a lifetime to develop.

"And, I don't want you doing any strenuous activities until I say so, which would include training," added in the Hokage.

In a soft and almost too calm voice, Sakura said, "So basically you want me to be an invalid until you say it is alright for me to live a normal life again?"

Tsunade was slightly disturbed by the way her student said what she said. The words were spoken in such an emotionless tone but between the lines, malice could be secretly found. After recovering from her minor shock, Tsunade said, "Yes. When you put it like that…"

Sakura just stared intently at the wall that was straight ahead on the other side of the room. The blank expression on her face never flickered. Tsunade continued her speech, "Sakura, you can go home any time you want. Just stay in bed though. I'm sure you will be more comfortable in your own bed." Tsunade got up from the stool and said, "Well that's it. That's all I have to say. I'm busy and have work to do. If you have any questions about what happened since you've been out, ask Kakashi. He can probably answer most, if not all, of your questions."

"Um, lady Tsunade," asked Sakura and Tsunade turned her head, "Can I leave now? I would like to go home immediately."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. But agreed. "Fine, but Kakashi will escort you home, and I will be having ANBU patrol your house's area. Oh. And, Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke have been asking about you. It is up to you if you want to tell them. I understand and support whatever your decision may be. Good bye." And with that, the Hokage opened the door and left the quiet room.

Sakura's gaze drifted down to the too-clean sheets of the hospital bed. She had to many problems going on at once… She really just wanted to go home.

The walk home was a long journey. Because Sakura could not walk at a normal pace, Kakashi was forced to walk even _slower_ than his usual lazy, laid-back speed. Though he did not mind helping a friend if all he had to do was walk slowly. Also, the walk consisted of no conversation. Sakura was in no mood to talk and Kakashi was not going to disturb the woman's thoughts that she seemed to be seriously pondering over, given the concentrated look on her face.

"We're here," Sakura said. Kakashi was surprised to hear her voice. She really did sound depressed. If he were in her situation, how would he feel? He really had no idea.

Sakura started walking up the few steps that led to her front door with dragging feet. Kakashi watched her take out her keys and put them into the lock. All of her movements were slow, languid, and depressing to watch. She needed a boost in her once-fiery spirit. Kakashi felt like getting his one good-deed-of-the-day done and over with so he yelled out to the konichi, "Sakura, hold up."

Sakura had already managed to open her door when Kakashi called out for her. "Hm?" She responded. The silver-haired jounin sprinted his way up to her and said, "Are you going to take Tsunade's offer of the psychiatrist?" Sakura did not respond or even look at the man before her. If she said no, she knew that Kakashi would only try to convince her to accept the stupid offer, even though they both knew that Kakashi himself would never take help from a shrink.

After receiving no reply from his female friend, Kakashi, with a warm hand on her shoulder and in a caring tone, said, "Sakura, don't worry. This could have happened to anyone, you were unfortunately the victim. Don't be ashamed, okay? It'll all work out. Believe me." He smiled down at her and playfully ruffled her pink hair. Sakura stared at Kakashi with shining green eyes. "Come find me when you want your questions answered. You need to go to sleep." Then Kakashi made his leave, already exhausted and ready to sleep even though it was still daytime.

Sakura watched her former sensei leave and she couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe it _because _she believed it. She believed Kakashi. Just by telling her those special words that she needed to hear, she managed to summon some hope. Just a little. Which was a little more than what she had before. "Thank you, Kakashi." Even though he could not hear her thanks, Sakura still felt it was necessary to say. Tears were running down her face, but it was okay. She felt better that she cried because everything will be okay. _It'll all work out…_

Sakura entered her dark house and didn't bother turning on the lights. She quickly, well, as quickly as she could go, went to her room and landed on her bed. The pink-haired konoichi fell asleep right away.

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**Authoress's Note: **I changed the 'author' to 'authoress' because, guess what? I'm a girl! The amount of reviews last chapter was amazing once again! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and/or added the story to their favorites/alerts list! Okay, here's some news. I discontinued my old story "People Change Too," which is (was) a KakaSaku fanfic, but I lost interest. So if anyone, ANYONE, is interested in continuing the story and making it their own, then PLEASE go ahead. Just contact me first before you start writing, okay? Thanks!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Eight**

The worst combination of opposites is hot and cold. When your entire body is burning like it just came back from the depths of hell, but your skin is covered with cold, nervous sweat… it is unsightly and extremely uncomfortable; a discomfort that Sakura had never really experienced until now.

Sakura was in an undisturbed, deep slumber. After finally getting home from the hospital, all Sakura had wanted to do had been to sleep in the supposedly home-like feel of her supposedly comfortable bed. But Kakashi's wish was not granted to her. Sakura had nightmares. _Severe _nightmares. Each was filled with indescribable and torturous images. Sakura's nightmares were different versions of her real nightmare with Itachi. And each oncoming nightmare was worse than the one before it.

Sakura had to endure these horrible and terrifying scenes because her mind would not wake up. But finally, when Sakura had been picturing herself inside a black hole, where her body was being pulled in all directions and her breath was no longer returning to her, Sakura gasped and opened her eyes. Sakura's eyes were wide open, but there was only blackness in front of her. Her room's lights were off and her window curtains were closed, just like the way the hospital room had been set up. But not liking that comparison, she quickly rejected it. Sakura did not want to think of her room, her safety net, as a hospital room. Who would?

Sakura's head was spinning as she tried to recollect herself. Her breathing was hard, her weak hands gripped into the covers, her tired eyes seeing nothing, her body unbearably hot but cold at the same time… Sakura's throat was dry and cracked, and when she tried to voice out a random word, it came out as almost nothing, merely a strange form of a strangled whisper frozen in the stillness of the air.

_Why?_ She asked herself. Why did she have to have been cursed so? Why did _she_ have to be attacked? Why did _she _have to have nightmares? These questions may have seemed selfish, but Sakura felt like the world was purposely picking on her just for the fun of it. How cruel. What a cruel world do we live in!

Sakura needed more covers because she felt _way too _cold! But at the same time, she felt like ripping her clothes off because it was _blazing_ in her room! Did she have a fever? No. It was simply her dreams, well, nightmares that were giving her these fluctuating temperatures!

"What do I do?! What do I do?! I can't handle this! Yes, I can! I can handle this! I can handle this! I can deal with these nightmares… I can..." Sakura tried repeating her contradicting statements, thinking it would help, but all it did was make her voice become completely useless and unusable.

Sakura decided to shut up before she killed her voice and permanently damaged her voice box. She thought about what Kakashi told her. _"Sakura, don't worry. This could have happened to anyone, you were unfortunately the victim. Don't be ashamed, okay? It'll all work out. Believe me."_ _I believe you_, she thought, _I'll try my best not to worry… it'll all work out, right?_

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

"Lady Hokage," ran the smooth voice of Sasuke Uchiha, "Naruto and I–"

"_Want to know where the hell Sakura is!_" Interrupted an overly anxious Naruto, resulting in a very peeved Sasuke. Sasuke rolled his eyes, but nevertheless, the question was asked and finally out in the open.

Naruto continued in a normal voice, "Where _is_ she? If she went on a mission, she would have told us. Where the hell is Sakura." His question did not sound like a question, but more like a statement. Naruto looked intently at the older woman before him, and was not the least discouraged by the power and strength she had. Naruto was determined to find out where one of his best friends was and he needed an answer. Now. He'd been worried about her for days and he was no longer going to wait. He was never known to be a patient person.

Sasuke, too, wondered where his teammate was. It was completely out of her character to avoid them. Only under very strict circumstances would Sakura be missing without he or Naruto knowing anything about it. Something was wrong. He knew it. He knew the Hokage knew it. But he also knew that Naruto did not know it, yet, anyway. The ever-hyper ninja was still not capable of putting two and two together. He lacked the most common of common senses.

Tsunade stared at the two men in her office. She expected this. She had been waiting for this, but she still had no excuse. She had nothing that she could say except for the truth. But Tsunade wanted Sakura to tell them. Tsunade wanted her apprentice to have the courage and admit to the two people closest to her that she had fallen and she needs help. But Sakura… she didn't want help. Too stubborn. She may not take the help, but would she tell Sasuke and Naruto what happened to her? Tsunade wasn't too sure. The Hoakge could guess exactly what was going on in that smart head of the pink-haired konoichi, and if Tsunade was right, then she knew that Sakura would never admit it. But they have to know. They have a right! Sasuke and Naruto need to know that Sakura was hurt and that she is in pain…

Tsunade made a decision, and she was going to make a compromise between herself and Sakura.

"Sasuke, Naruto, I have unfortunate news…"

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Sakura stayed in her bed, too tired to get up, but too afraid to fall asleep. That's all she had to do. Stay awake. If she stayed awake and never went to sleep again, then she would never have any nightmares. Problem solved. _What a horrible solution,_ she thought.

Sakura looked over to her alarm clock and was surprised to see that it was 8:03 at night. She'd been asleep for quite a few hours. The entire day just flew by. _What a horrible way to spend the day._

Apprehension took over, as Sakura had no idea what to do. She knew she was too unstable to go outside or talk to anyone so she would have to talk to Kakashi later about her questions, because, boy, did she need answers.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Kakashi sat in his apartment with his famous little orange book in hand. The chair he sat on was quite comfortable, but for the many hours that he sat there, his nervous system seemed to be on its high point. Kakashi felt jumpy and nervous, and those feelings would not go away. Where Kakashi tried to make himself comfortable, the phone was right next to him, just in case he got a call from a certain konoichi in distress.

About every thirty seconds, he would casually and slowly turn his head and look at the phone. He waited by the phone, because he knew he had to be available. If Sakura actually decided tonight to call him, then he would be there. For sure. He would be there. But she hadn't called yet, and Kakashi figured she wouldn't be calling if she took his advice and went to bed. _She's probably still sleeping_, he thought.

Kakashi waited for several more hours that night, rereading his favorites of his favorite book series, waiting for a non-existent phone call. Finally, when it was 12:30, he decided to sleep, but he was a light sleeper, so if the phone did ring, he would definitely hear it.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

"Sasuke, Naruto, I have unfortunate news…"

The two shinobi mentioned, involuntarily leaned closer to the Hokage, anticipating what she was about to say.

"…Sakura has been… hurt. Attacked. By someone."

Sasuke burrowed his eyebrows in a concerned-type way and Naruto whispered, "What?"

"Sakura, four days ago, was attacked while she was training. And for the past couple of days she had been in the hospital."

Naruto was quiet, feeling like there was nothing he could say. Sasuke remained silent as usual. In their constrained thoughts, both boys were thinking about the same phrase: '_had been in the hospital.' _But each of them got something different out of it. Naruto said, "_Had _been? Then where is she _now_?"

"She's at home. She went home earlier today, and I warn you, do _not, _and I repeat, just for you Naruto, do _not_, go visit her. She'll probably start freaking out if someone comes to see her. She wants to be alone. I know. But if you _have _to contact her, then simply call her home phone, and if she doesn't pick up, and you _still_ have to speak to her, leave a message. But I highly recommend that you stay away for a couple of days, you two," she said looking from Naruto to Sasuke and then to her folded hands on her wooden desk, "Sakura needs time to recuperate independently. If she wants to talk to you, then she will. But don't take it _too _personally if she doesn't."

Naruto just looked dumbly ahead at the wall as Sasuke voiced his thoughts about _the_ phrase. "Lady Hokage, you said Sakura had been in the hospital," Tsunade nodded and Sasuke continued, "well, Naruto and I were in the hospital earlier today and we heard a scream," Tsunade unnoticeably cringed. She had been informed by the ANBU that Sakura had, indeed, screamed a piercing, painful scream. Sasuke went on, "and we, Naruto and I, were going to come by and ask you about not only Sakura, but also that scream. But I guess that's not necessary, due to the fact that I just got my answer without even having to ask you."

As Sasuke said all of this, Naruto watched, turning his eyes from Sasuke to Tsunade, back to Sasuke and so on. Naruto thought, _Why would he ask that when we just found out something happened to Sakura!_ Then he voiced his thought and started off with, "Sasuke, why would you ask that now when–" Naruto paused and stopped talking as Sasuke turned to face him. The look on Sasuke's face gave Naruto the answer.

"No… no way… it can't be…"

Sasuke merely nodded his head and Tsunade watched in horror as Sakura's secret was being revealed.

Naruto whispered, "It was Sakura… that scream… those ANBU guards… and… and… that _scream_… my God…"

Naruto shook his head out of anger, disbelief, grief, and many other swarming emotions. "Sakura… Sakura…" he repeated her name as more anger filled within him. "_Who? WHO_ the_ hell_ dared to hurt Sakura?! I'll kill them… I swear I'll kill them!" Naruto gritted his teeth and his body was trembling. Sasuke, ever the calm one, would not mind joining Naruto in this mission, but they had to get the facts straight first. Sasuke thought, _Does Tsunade even know who hurt her?_

"Lady Tsunade, do you know who attacked Sakura?" Sasuke asked for both himself and his blonde friend who was currently incapable of forming sentences from the amount of rage his body was emitting.

"Nothing more," said the Hokage.

"Hm?" Sasuke did not understand what she meant by this.

"I am not able to tell you any more information. If Sakura wants you to know, then she will tell you, but don't ask her for the information, obviously. All I want you two to think about from this conversation is that Sakura is hurt and leave her alone for a few days. That's _all_ I'm asking. Till then, keep yourselves busy with something, and if you are unable to do such a simple task, I will give you a mission. A _long_ mission."

Naruto managed to be rational again and made a note to himself to call Sakura the second he gets out of this building. Sasuke, surprisingly, made the same note in his head, too.

"You two are dismissed," said the Hokage.

... o ... o ... o ...

... o ... o ...

... o ...

**Authoress's Note: THERE MAY BE GRAMMAR MISTAKES! I'M HALF ASLEEP RIGHT NOW! **Okay, it took a while, but it's finally here. I've been busy… as usual. I don't even have much time to sleep. Expect updates about every two weeks (check on weekends) or maybe a can manage once a week. That's all. Please review! My goal is to get more reviews on this chapter than any other chapter (which I would need 14 to beat my highest record of 13). Love you guys!


	9. Chapter 9

 **Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

Note: **BOLD TEXT** represents Sakura's thoughts during the flashback.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Nine**

"_Leave a message after the beep…. … … … BEEP!"_

Naruto sighed and said, "Hey, Sakura, I… I… uh… I wanted to call you and talk… but um…" Naruto had no idea what he should say or if there was anything he could say to make his friend feel better, but he continued anyway. "Well, I called to say hi and make sure you know that I'm here… I'm around if you need me… You know where you can find me, but if you don't wanna look for me…just call, 'kay? 'Kay, Sakura? I'm here. You can call me when you get this message… Oh! This is Naruto by the way…"

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

­­

"_Leave a message after the beep…. … … … BEEP!"_

"Sakura, it's Sasuke. If there's things that needs to be said, then call if you get this message." The message sounded very professional and it would seem as if there was no affection in it, but that would be a wrong conclusion. For Sasuke to even have called shows his concern. For him to have called, then he must know that what happened to Sakura must have been terrible. He could feel it. His gut told him. And he was usually right when he went with his instinct. And he is right…

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

"_Leave a message after the beep…. … … … BEEP!"_

"Sakura, it's Kakashi. Wanted to remind you that you should call me about the… _details_. I'll be here when you're ready."

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

(Sakura's Point of View)

"_You have three new messages…"_

I pressed the button to hear my messages.

"_First unheard message…"_ "Hey, Sakura, I… I…" The voice was distinctly Naruto's.

"_Next unheard message…"_ "Sakura, it's Sasuke…"

"_Last unheard message…"_ "Sakura, it's Kakashi…"

These voices came from the outside world. A world I have been avoiding for a whole day, and a world I do not plan on entering any time soon. That was part of my plan, never leave the house; the other part was to never fall asleep again…

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

I sat on my bed, looking around my room and saw the long crack in my wall that I have yet to fix. It's seems ridiculous that it still isn't fixed; it _has_ been two whole years, but I've either been too lazy, too busy, or too tired to fix it. I thought back to the day that crack had been formed… I had been at the hospital…

"_Don't worry, Mrs. Yamashita, your son is in good hands. Everything will be fine," I smiled reassuringly at the older woman in front of me. Her eleven-year-old son, Kioshi, has heart problems and he risks having a heart attack, therefore, my job is to give him a heart transplant._

_The donor's heart had already passed inspection and as I talked to the boy's mother, Kioshi was receiving the general anesthetic in the other room. Mrs. Yamashita demanded to know every gory detail about the operation and because she wanted, well demanded, to know, I told her. She grimaced as I explained some of the more gruesome parts, but at least she was well-informed. I told her of the risks of her son having this surgery, but then I told her the risks if he didn't get the surgery, and I know she had made the right choice. It was the only choice, really…_

_**This can't be right…**_

_I am standing in the hospital room with Mrs. Yamashita and her son… her dead son…_

_Mrs. Yamashita stood in the quiet room and I said nothing…_

_**I can't be in here. I need to get out.**_

"_Kioshi…" Mrs. Yamashita quietly called out her son's name._

_**The door… I need to get out…**_

"_Kioshi…" she repeated._

_**I… I… Now!**_

_I ran. I ran for my life. I bolted out of the room, into the quiet, brightly lit halls of the hospital. People stared at me, but I kept running. I kept running until I heard what I had been expecting and had been running from._

"KIOSHI!"

_The people who had been looking at me before now turned their heads to the room where the scream came from. I wanted to stop and go back to Mrs. Yamashita and apologize, but I didn't, and I hated myself for it…_

_I ran all the way home, thinking I would be okay if I was in the comfort of my own house, but I was wrong. In my room, I walked straight up to my wall and punched it…_

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Now that I look back at it, me having punched the wall seemed kind of blunt… I remember how much I hated myself that day, and how embarrassed I was when I went back to the hospital to face Tsunade. She scolded me and told me how stupid it was of me to run out of a bad situation.

Everything eventually worked out, well, not for Mrs. Yamashita. I never saw her again after the day I ran away from that room… and even up to this day, I feel like I should try to find her and apologize. Who knows… maybe someday I will…

I realized that day what my greatest fear was. Confrontations. I don't like having to fight, or tell someone something that they don't want to hear. I don't want to disappoint. But that day, when I was afraid to confront Mrs. Yamashita, when I was afraid to tell her that her son had passed, when I was afraid to disappoint, I ran away; and by running away, I disappointed more than just Mrs. Yamashita. I hated myself and I let down Tsunade who had such a high opinion of me. For over a week I could not look myself in the eyes in the mirror. That entire week Naruto and Kakashi had been wondering why I was moping around, but I never told them. Once again, my fear of confrontations got in the way.

Looking back on the way I felt that day, I realize that I feel the exact same way right now. I'm disappointed in myself and I really want help from someone. With the situation that happened to two years ago, that caused the crack in my wall, I was not offered any help because I didn't tell anyone what happened. But with my current nightmare, I have been offered help. But I still don't take it when I want it. Does that make sense? Is it pride? Not really… Is it fear? I think so… Am I really stupid? Definitely.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Part one of my plan is working; not leaving my house is no big deal. Not a problem. Unfortunately, part two, never falling asleep again, is not going as well. In reality, I _have _succeeded in not sleeping, but each day it gets harder. And yes, I said _each day._ I have not slept in three nights, and today is my fourth day. Four days is an _extremely_ short time when you compare it to your entire lifetime, but four days is _more_ than _extremely_ long when you compare it to the amount of hours of no sleep. I've been awake for four whole days, in my house, doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself. I know it's not healthy, of course I know! I'm a doctor. Or, at least, I was, now that I'm on my temporary _vacation._ But right now, the only thing I'm concerned about is never imagining those horrible scenes in my head ever again. _Never_ again. I'm afraid of falling asleep… and that is something I never thought I would think.

Obviously there are side effects to my sleep deprivation. My eyesight sometimes gets blurry, I have headaches often, my body is weak, tired, and fragile, but just one small second of picturing those terrifying blood-red eyes is enough to stop my eyelids from closing. It's enough for right now. And I hope it'll be enough until I can think of something else I can do to prevent my nightmares.

Because I basically have all the time in the world, I needed to find ways to keep myself busy and active. First, I would workout, doing simple things like push-ups, sit-ups, stretches, but then I would get tired and that was a _really_ big problem in my current predicament. Then I decided to finally start reading all of the books on my shelf that I never had time to read. This was working for a while, but now on the fourth day, as I read, I would get tired and once I came _way_ too close to falling asleep so I closed the book and put it away for good. Now, anything I did made me want to rest so the only thing I did all day and night was concentrate on keeping my eyes open. Which is starting to be impossible.

I got up from my spot on the carpet and I climbed into my chair at my desk. The chair isn't too comfortable, so I hoped that I wouldn't be able to give in to my latest temptation and craving. That's right, I _craved_ sleep. But I won't and will never give up… _But I'm just so tired…_ I really wanted to cry. All day I'd wanted to cry, but I still refuse to. But now my eyebrows were burrowing together as my mouth formed into a frown. That is the formation that my face makes before the tears come, but I still didn't cry; I just kept that ugly face on as I stared at the wall in front of me. I didn't even purposely turn to the wall with the crack…

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

(Kakashi's Point of View)

I craned my neck to left, where the phone was, but instead, I looked at my clock, which was right above the nightstand. The time-teller read 9:30. _It's that time of night again. Time to visit my old teammates at the memorial stone…_

I got up and stretched and looked over at the phone again. It has been a couple days already and Sakura _still_ hasn't called. She didn't forget did she? It just seems strange to me that she wouldn't call. _I guess it couldn't hurt if I leave for just a little while… I'll stop by her house on my way back, just to make sure everything is fine…_

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

(Third Person Point of View)

Sakura stared at the crack on her wall. Her eyes traced the thin lining of the crack and soon her eyes just kept moving up and down, from the top of the crack, to the bottom. Her eyes never blinked and soon they became watery and her vision blurred. Then it was black. Sakura's eyelids had finally closed…

... o ... o ... o ...

... o ... o ...

... o ...

**Authoress's Note:** Okay, I know that it's been almost 3 weeks since my last update... I was busy… BUT! I'm now on spring break, so you can expect another update soon! Plus, I absolutely LOVE you guys because my last chapter got 15 reviews! That's my highest amount ever! Maybe I can beat it with 16 reviews on this chapter… hm…


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Ten**

_Sakura stared at the crack on her wall. Her eyes traced the thin lining of the crack and soon her eyes just kept moving up and down, from the top of the crack, to the bottom. Her eyes never blinked and soon they became watery and her vision blurred. Then it was black. Sakura's eyelids had finally closed…_

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

(Sakura's Dream and Her Point of View)

It was very quiet. No sound existed in this world I was in. I could not speak… or maybe I just could not hear… either one would have fit. I enjoy silence and prefer it, but I was in the hospital standing in the middle of the hall with a countless amount of people around. The hall was crowded and I was squished between a woman and a man, but I still stood there unmoving as everyone around me was running this way and that.

I watched everyone run. I observed. No one seemed to be upset, mad or sad. Why would someone run in a hospital? No one here was a doctor. Just ordinary people…

"Haruno!" I heard a voice calling out my name. I didn't move. "Haruno, you have a patient in 108." It was the same voice, and this voice was referring to room 108. Room 108 was the eighth room down on the first floor. I turned to my left, and right in front of me was the room. I was not at all surprised at this as I turned the doorknob and entered the room.

The room was normally lit, not dark, but not too bright. Upon my entrance, I was met with a man who greeted me and told me of his daughter's condition. His daughter was currently sitting on the bed in the middle of the room. She simply had a broken arm. All I had to do was fix it, which would take me all of one minute, possibly less.

I walked over to the little girl who had to have been no more than ten, and I smiled at her. She didn't smile back, but I blamed the pain in her arm to be the reason why she didn't. She lowered her gaze to her arm and her blonde hair covered her face. As I healed her arm, I tried making small talk so she could get her mind off the pain. I asked her her name and she answered, "Sakura."

"Hm?" I thought I had heard her wrong.

"My name is Sakura," she repeated in a whispered voice.

I stared at the little girl and said, "Really? Wow, that's my name, too." Then I smiled again when I finished her arm, but she still would not smile back or even look at me. She yanked her arm away from my hold, and she bounced off the bed to reach her father.

"Let's go home, Daddy," she said as she pulled on her father's hand, "I don't wanna be here anymore…" And then the two of them slowly faded away and I was suddenly in a new room.

The new room seemed familiar. _Well, obviously,_ I thought, _I've been in every room in this hospital… but still, this room seems…_

I heard the sound of a door opening, and I turned around to see who came in. I gasped. My eyes widened and I stepped back. "M-Mrs. Y-Ya-Yama-sh-shita…"

"Dr. Haruno," she narrowed her eyes and then smirked, "It's been a while. I'm glad you came…"

"I-I uh…" I mumbled, not knowing how to respond to her malicious voice. Each step she took to get closer to me, I stepped away from her. I didn't know why she was here, or why she was slowly making her way toward me, or why she had that awful look on her face; I was not completely sure of it, but I could make a pretty good guess. Revenge. She wanted revenge. I had killed her son. What more reason could she possibly need?

The older woman looked very calm, she did a very good job composing herself. Her façade would have been perfect if not for the evil twist in her smile, the wicked look in her eyes, and the venomous aura that surrounded her. But even with these vicious features, Mrs. Yamashita was still calm. She may have been on the verge of attacking me, but she seemed relaxed. It was as if she knew that she had nothing to worry about; everything would all work out in her favor; there was no reason for her to worry. It seemed as if Mrs. Yamashita had had a glimpse of the future and she already knew the outcome. Maybe she knew something that I didn't.

"Dr. Haruno, I'm sure you remember me."

I nodded my head, unable to voice words. Mrs. Yamashita smiled her evil smile again as she stared at something behind me. I didn't dare look back as I heard light footsteps coming from behind. I closed my eyes and waited for something to happen. When the footsteps stopped, it was silent and I opened my eyes. Looking down, I was met with true blue eyes, beautiful eyes that I have never seemed to notice before. They were the eyes of that little girl I met earlier, Sakura.

Mrs. Yamashita walked up to the girl and put her hand on the child's shoulder and said addressing me, "I believe you know Sakura, my niece. She was very good friends with my son. But obviously you wouldn't know that."

"Um…"

The little girl, Sakura, looked up, facing me, and she stared at my face. "You couldn't do it," she said in a monotone.

I was afraid to ask, but I said it anyway, "Do what?"

"What you said you would do."

"And what was that?"

"Save others."

"…"

The little girl shrugged out of Mrs. Yamashita's hold and took one step forward, making her as close to me as possible. With her head still raised high and her blue eyes staring into mine, she continued to say, "You said that you didn't want to be weak anymore…" And then her eyes flickered. They flickered with an emerald hue, and then they slowly morphed into that color. The little girl continued, "You said that you wanted to be strong…" And scarily enough, her hair turned pink! "You said that you didn't want to be a burden…" And the next thing that came out of that little girl's mouth was said in not her voice, but _mine_! "You said that you would help others!"

I staggered back, completely freaked out by the situation. I kept walking backward as this little girl transformed into a younger version of me. Her face rounded out and her skin became paler. The red ribbon that held up her bangs was the cherry on top.

My eyes darted from the little girl to Mrs. Yamashita and then back to the girl. Everything was so confusing. This little girl… was she me? Was she the voice in my head that always told me to get stronger so I could be able to help rather than get in the way? Was she here to tell me that….

"_You!_" She pointed her small finger at me. "_You're_ the reason why Kioshi is _dead_! Sure, you can fix a useless broken arm, but when it comes down to it… when it really matters… when it's either _life_ or_ death_, _you_ are the useless one!" She paused, narrowed her eyes, and with a disgusted look on her face, she said, "It's always been that way… always. You think you changed, but you haven't! It's all a lie!" Then the little girl that looked like a ten-year-old version of myself, started changing again. She grew taller and her hair longer, and her body slowly began to take the shape of an eighteen-year-old woman. Now she was identical to me. She _was _me. As she spoke, I felt like I was having an argument with myself, and maybe that was the whole point. To contradict myself. To argue with myself. To say things that I never said and get them out in the open…

The replica of myself put her hands on my shoulder and held me with a tight grip. With her sour voice, and green eyes staring into mine, she said, "It's horrible when your always burden to others, when you can't help no matter how hard you try. But you know what's _worse_ than not being able to help those who are close to you? Hm? Do you know? Of course not!" My _twin_ laughed in my face and smirked.

"What?" I asked. "What! What is it!"

The other me stopped laughing and all expression and emotion was wiped from her face. Her eyes stared dully at my scared eyes and she said, "What's worse than not be able to help your friends is…" Then she whispered into my ear, "is… not being able to help yourself."

She stepped back, let go of my shoulders and with a satisfied look on her face, she reminded me of what had happened to me. She told me about how easily I let Itachi get to me. How I was too weak to defend myself. Too weak to take care of myself. "You're a hazard to your_self_, Sakura. You're better off… better off… _dead._"

She snapped her fingers and I was no longer in the hospital. Now, I was in the exact same training field where I had been when Itachi attacked. I almost expected him to be there, but he wasn't, instead, there was not-so-mini me. She stood in the center of the field and I was about twenty yards away from the evil clone. Her head was looking up at the night sky. It was pitch black with no stars to lighten up the sky. But I was wrong. Actually, there were five stars up in the sky; they seemed as if they belonged together. Maybe they formed a constellation.

"Queprur," I heard the other Sakura say.

"What""

She smirked. "You don't know who Queprur is?" I shook my head. "Oh, well, she represents the scythe. She is my favorite goddess. She is…" And then the ground started rumbling and the rock that supported the ground started crumbling away. This continued until I was on my own little island, surrounded by black nothingness. If I lost my balance, then I would fall into the dark, endless pit below.

I had been so focused on watching the earth crumble, that I had forgotten about the other me, let alone what she had been saying. That is, I had forgotten until she was suddenly in front of me, standing on the small island that was big enough for only _one _person.

Right into my face she said, "…the goddess of _death._" The word resounded in my ears and it kept repeating itself over and over again. _Death… Death…_

My body started tingling and then it turned completely numb. My throat felt clogged, like my windpipe was slowly closing, allowing no air to pass through. Not being able to breathe… it's one of the scariest things you can experience. It's like you can already imagine your death. Suffocating. A painful death; the worst way to leave this world.

My body was still numb, but it was somehow changing… I lifted up my hand and to my horror, I realized that I was morphing into something… well, _someone_. My small, slender hands grew larger and rough with dark colored nail polish. My body grew taller and my hair started shrinking as it changed from pink to black. My eyes widened and I realized who I was. I was my worst nightmare. I was Itachi…

I screamed as my heart raced. _How could I be him!? How can this be happening!? I'm…I'm… I'm Itachi… _Everything was just _so wrong_ and screwed up.

I remembered what the other Sakura had said to me earlier, _"You're a hazard to yourself, Sakura."_ I had always thought that Itachi was the hazard, and now, now that I am him, I am the hazard. I really am a hazard to myself…

I lifted my horrible hands to stare at them, and when I put them down to uncover my face, I saw myself, well, the other evil me, anyway. She still looked like the original me. She still had pink hair and green eyes… but I was turned into this monster… this terrible person…

I screamed and kept screaming, but there was no one there to help me. I am in a place where I have no control over what happens. My other self is in charge of this universe, and I am simply here as entertainment.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

(Third Person Point of View)

Kakashi, already done visiting the dead friends, made his way back along the peaceful street. All seemed quiet as he strolled on, taking large but slow strides. He had wanted to check on his pink-haired teammate, but he didn't want her to get the wrong idea. Kakashi didn't want Sakura to think that he thought she was incapable of taking care of herself because she most surely was, but still, he needed to make sure with his own eyes that she was okay. He was also curious to know as to what she would be doing at this time of night. Was she reading a book? Was she watching television? Or maybe she was in blissful sleep…

All he planned to do was sneak a peak in her window, check to make sure everything was in order, and go on his merry way home. That is what he _planned_ to do. As he finally reached Sakura's street, he grew anxious, praying to whom ever the higher power was, that everything would be all right. Sakura was under enough stress and if something else had gone wrong after her _incident _with Itachi, she just might lose it.

Kakashi continued walking and when he could spot out her house in the darkness, he heard a faint noise. He couldn't quite identify it, and he did not know where it came from, but as he neared Sakura's house, it got louder. And then he knew. He knew where that noise was coming from, and he was able to define the noise as a scream. The second he figured this out, he ran at a speed faster than his maximum. All he could say was, "Shit."

… o … o … o …

… o … o …

… o …

**Authoress's Note:** Just out of curiosity, so far, what is your favorite chapter? It would make me very happy if you leave your answer in a review or send me a message. Plus, I am very sorry about the EXTREMELY late update. I'm a procrastinator. Sorry… I'll try to make it faster next time…


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Eleven**

_And then he knew. He knew where that noise was coming from, and he was able to define the noise as a scream. The second he figured this out, he ran at a speed faster than his maximum. All he could say was, "Shit."_

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

(Sakura's POV)

I gripped onto him. All my strength focused on his shoulders. Everything just flowed out naturally after being held in for so long. It was expected. No one can keep something so agonizing for so long. He was my outlet.

"Kakashi!" My voice, filled with hurt and fear, was raspy and barely coherent through the tears that overflowed my eyes and drenched my face.

"I want… I want… I…" But then I realized that that phrase sounded too familiar.

Kakashi waited for me to say it. I needed to get it out of myself. It wouldn't work if he helped me with this part.

"I need… I… I need…"

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

(A Little Bit Earlier)

(Still Sakura's Dream and POV)

The other Sakura, who used to be a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, stared at me. We were still on the small island in the middle of the infinite abyss below. I was still in the form of Itachi and I still screamed. A nervous sweat covered my body and my face must have been a horrible sight to see with all of the scared expressions that it revealed. But the other Sakura still watched me. How can you watch someone in so much pain!? She seemed completely unfazed, that is, until she punched me.

I could take a hit. I could take a hit from practically anyone. But this was different. When you get hit by someone who is identical to you, your mind thinks of very strange things. It's like getting punched by yourself. Like punching yourself. Punishing yourself… But right now I could not focus on all the psychological issues; my main focus was on the fact that she punched me when we were standing on a very small island, and the only place for me to go was down in the abyss, and I would have if I had not caught onto the ledge of the island.

I held onto the rocky surface tightly with my large hands. Being in this body… using this body… just seemed completely _wrong._ There's no other way to explain it. It was just wrong… and disgusting. I was disgusted with Itachi, with myself. It was all mind over matter, but still. My scared screams and my anguished trembling did not fit this body. Being afraid is not part of being Itachi. Fear does not equal Itachi. It would be a wrong equation if someone said so.

I started crying, which must have looked even stranger, and I looked up to see the person that looked like me. We are in the wrong bodies. She has mine and I have hers… but wait. As I looked up, and was met with my face, I saw tears coming out of my twin's eyes. She was crying. Why? Why should she cry!?

"Sakura," she called out to me, "I am so sorry… I'm so… sorry…"

She was apologizing, but why? _Why!?_ I was still crying and we cried together. If she was me, then was she crying because I was crying? Was she crying because she felt bad for me? Was she crying because we are somehow connected and she could feel the pain I was in? She crouched down to be eye level with me, and she put a hand on my shoulder. "Stop screaming," she said in whisper. When I didn't, she said it again, but louder and firmer, "Stop. Screaming." I wanted to, I really did. But I couldn't control my body, and I couldn't control my will. I kept screaming and with each scream, my twin's face got angrier and angrier and angrier until she snapped.

"_STOP SCREAMING! STOP CRYING! AND SHUT THE HELL UP DAMMIT!_"

That just made things a lot worse. I cried harder and I tried keeping my mouth shut but it kept being defiant and always burst open with a scream.

"I want… I want… I…" I wanted to say that I wanted to; that I wanted to calm down, but I couldn't control myself.

The other me trembled with anger as I shook with fear, and she cried with frustration as I sobbed with pain. She extended her hand and I feared where that hand was going. I had every right be alarmed. Her hand enclosed itself around my neck and then she placed her other hand on my neck. Her grip tightened as she slowly lifted me up. I gasped for air and clawed at her hands with my own but she would not let go.

"I hate you," she said to me, "I hate you! You are so weak! So stupid! So USELESS!"

She kept screaming at me and I flinched with every word that flew out of her mouth. As she told me I was weak, stupid and useless and that she hated me, I realized something. It was _me_ telling _myself _that I hated _myself._ No one else needed to be included. Another person didn't hate me; I hated myself, and that is what has caused me so much trouble. So much pain. So much fear. So much hate…

My eyes squeezed closed because I did not want to look at myself. I just waited and cried and screamed. Would she let go? Would she let me fall? And then I felt her grip on me loosen and I panicked. Her hands were gone and I fell for about two seconds and felt the ground below me. She let me go… on the ground…

I opened my eyes and saw Itachi in front of me. My eyes widened with realization as I saw my slender hands again and my long pink hair in my face.

"I'm me again," I said as I looked down at my hands.

I looked back in front of me and saw Itachi fading away. His last words were, "You are alone. There's no one to help you and you will always be alone. You'll hate yourself and you'll think of me whenever you're by yourself. I am part of your unconscious mind… always." And he was gone. He disappeared from reality and everything was quiet. My surroundings changed back to the place where the entire nightmare began. The training field.

I was now calm and I no longer screamed or cried. That's progress. I was no longer afraid. I was just there, waiting again.

Something was burning… I could smell a faint scent of smoke, but none of the surrounding vegetation was on fire and I saw no flames… I could hear a small hissing sound, the sound of paper burning… I looked down. A paper bomb. Orange flames. Smoke. Then it exploded, taking me with it. The last thing I saw was the Mangekyou sharingan.

I woke up crying accompanied with a scream and a huge gasp, trying to take in as much air as possible, seeming like I held in my breath for the whole nightmare. For a slight second, my vision could only see orange, as if my eyes had been in flames. I was so scared, so afraid, I trembled.

"Sakura."

I had a heart attack, I did. I really did. I screamed and said, "_Go away!_" With no idea whom the voice belonged to. I didn't want to know. I was a mess. I needed to be alone… "_You'll hate yourself and you'll think of me whenever you're by yourself…"_ I thought of what Itachi had said in my dream. "No…" I said to myself.

"Sakura…" The voice came again.

"I don't want to be alone!"

"Your not, Sakura, and you'll never be."

It was Kakashi. I think in the back of my mind, I already knew that before looking to see him. "I can't be alone… I can't…"

Kakashi walked up to me, put a hand on my shoulder and told me again that I won't be alone. I looked up at him, too afraid to be embarrassed, and cried. Kakashi pulled me in a little closer to comfort me. Kakashi Hatake. My teacher, my equal, my friend. We've been good friends for a while and maybe a little more than a year ago, the position we were in might have seemed awkward, but not now. Now, we are true friends who are there when someone is in need of help. For the past year or so, Kakashi has been much more open with Team 7 a.k.a. Team Kakashi, and he held a soft spot for me because I am the only girl on the whole team.

I gripped onto him. All my strength focused on his shoulders. Everything just flowed out naturally after being held in for so long. It was expected. No one can keep something so agonizing in for so long. He was my outlet.

"Kakashi!" My voice, filled with hurt and fear, was raspy and barely coherent through the tears that overflowed my eyes and drenched my face.

"I want… I want… I…" But then I realized that that phrase sounded too familiar.

Kakashi waited for me to say it. I needed to get it out of myself. It wouldn't work if he helped me with this part.

"I need… I… I need…"

Kakahi put his arms around me in a hug. The situation must have seemed pretty awful from his side because throughout our entire friendship he has never given me a hug. It was a hug for reassurance. It was a hug to help me say what I had to say.

"I d-don't want a-another dr-dream like th-that…," I took a deep breath, "I need… I need h-help."

"Help?"

I nodded my head.

"Naruto and Sasuke and I can help you, Sakura."

"No. That's n-not what I m-meant… I want y-you to help, t-too, but I m-meant…"

"Professional help."

I nodded. I didn't want it, and I would have avoided it as much as Kakashi avoids the hospital, but I needed it. There is an astounding difference between wanting something and needing something.

Kakashi still held me, probably afraid to let go, and I was glad he held me because _I_ was afraid he would let go.

"You're not alone."

"…Okay," I sniffed.

"Do you want to tell Tsunade, or should I?" He loosened his hug so he could look at me in the eye, but he still had his arms on my back.

"I don't want to…" I didn't want to have to admit to someone else that I needed help.

"Then I will," he said.

I let out a small, breathless 'thank you' and sighed. We stood in my room for a little and Kakashi stood next to me with his arm around my shoulder. I felt good. I felt safe. Fear was lost and nowhere to be found. Kakashi brought this bliss with him. Why did I feel okay when he was with me? Whatever the reason was, I really did not care. I just wanted to feel this way all the time.

… o … o … o …

… o … o …

… o …

**Authoress's Note:** Okay, this took a while for me to update. I'm getting really bad at that. Sorry, I've just been super busy. As for the favorite chapter question, most people liked last chapter (Ch.10) the most. Well, that's all. Till next time (update).


	12. Chapter 12

**NOTE: This is the NEW and OFFICIAL Chapter 12. **

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Twelve**

(Sakura's POV)

I stood outside the large office building, too embarrassed to actually go in. I looked around and there weren't any people around… but still. What if someone saw me!? What would they think!? Well, they would probably think nothing of it because I am a doctor and this is a medical building… but this isn't just some building. This is the building for patients who have… troubled minds… And right now, I am not the doctor, I am one of the troubled patients. It gets me every time I realize how everything is flipped around.

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

(This Morning)

Kakashi used his sharingan to put me in a dreamless sleep so I wouldn't have any nightmares. He stayed that night and slept on the couch. I woke up and he was gone, but he left a note saying,

_Went to the Hokage_

_-Kakashi_

When he said he "went to the Hokage" it actually meant that he went to go tell her my decision. The first step in getting better is admitting that you need help, and people say that is always the hardest step. It must be true, on account that I almost went crazy just to get to the point where I had to admit I needed help. It was either get help or lose my sanity… and I like my sanity thank you very much… well, I like the amount I have left. My sanity has slowly been fading away after being teamed up with Naruto and Sai for the past several years.

News travels very fast these days… _extremely_ fast. I heard a knock on my door and when I opened it, I found an ANBU member who apparently was sent to give me a message. The elite ninja completed his mission as he handed me a small piece of paper. The only thing the ninja said was, "From the Hokage."

I nodded my head and the ANBU disappeared. I knew that the Hokage knew… whatever is in this note would have to be…

With shaking hands, I unfolded the white piece of paper, and I read the Hokage's script. There was a name, an address, an office number, and a comment made by the Hokage.

_Dr. Senta Higa, Psychiatrist_

_11202 South West 911 Street_

_Building #2, Room #304_

_Sakura, I completely support your decision. I have already paid the doctor the necessary fees for you to see him. I don't want you to worry about money now. You can always pay me back later. Focus on getting better. Dr. Higa is a well-known and well-respected man whom I trust. He doesn't see patients anymore, but does paperwork in his office everyday. I have talked to him and he has agreed to make you an exception. Feel free to stop by his office anytime, including today._

_-Hokage_

_P.S. The street number is a coincidence._

I stopped reading and looked back up to the street number. _ 911._ I rolled my eyes. _Oh, the irony…_

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

I still held the letter in my hand and I folded it back up and put it in my pocket. I examined the outside of the building. It's in the north side of town, therefore, it is an old building. Everything in the northern part of the village is old. Some of the buildings are starting to crumble and everything just _feels_ old. Ancient, actually. Along with these old buildings, many elderly people live here… The aged buildings and streets did not bother me… they were almost reassuring… like they knew what they were doing, but it's not like inanimate objects are able to think or anything, but I felt safe. The way I felt in my grandparents' house. The buildings have seen so many things, been through history, survived everything… They made it through whatever has hit them. Natural disasters like storms… and human destruction like wars… It's not like they had a choice to fight. They were stuck where they were and couldn't run.

I gazed up at the doctor's office, one of the largest buildings around this area. It seemed so solid. So tough. If the building could be personified as a human, I could imagine it as a tall, older man who was strong and large, solid. He would be standing very straight, with perfect posture and he would have his arms crossed over his chest, showing that he did not take nonsense. He would look rough, a warrior, but his face would be gentle, kind. The small, reassuring smile that would be on his face, would prove his nobility… I sighed and took a deep breath as I made my way toward the building's entrance…

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

The sudden cold air was expected as I walked through the doors of the building. It may have been expected, but I still reacted to it with a violent shiver. The action surprised me. It didn't seem like just a tremble, but more like a jerk of my body. I stopped walking. It was strange for me to do that. Was I losing control of my body? That's what it felt like. My eyes turned worried. I didn't want people to see me standing frozen in the middle of the lobby so I started walking again, making my way toward the elevator. I prayed that no one else would be in there. I reached the elevator and pushed the "up" button several times, at least three, maybe more, because we all know that just pressing it once is no good.

The door open a few very long seconds later and the knots in my stomach continued growing until I saw that no one else was in the elevator. I breathed a sigh of relief and put a hand to my sweating forehead. I needed to calm down. Then I put the same hand over my beating heart. How was I ever going to survive this!?

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

Unfortunately, for me especially, the elevator in this building is _extremely_ slow, and with my frayed nerves, the knots in my stomach, and my _extremely_ short temper, it seemed even _slower. _ During the little trip from the first floor to the third, I slapped myself on my forehead when I had only reached the second floor and it had felt like an eternity already. My only thoughts were, _Oh, God. I'm only halfway there._ During the elevator I had turned around to face one of the walls and I repeatedly hit my poor abused forehead on the wall until I heard the little _ring!_ Which indicated I had finally reached my destination. I was so annoyed that I actually forgot why I was here and I where I was going. When the doors opened to Floor 3, I mouthed an irritated _thank you. _I walked out of the obviously old machine and entered the third floor. My irritation had blinded me before, but now everything cleared up and my frustration was gone. The knots came back.

My shaking hands moved to my pocket and took out the paper again. I unfolded it and made sure of the room number. _Room #304…_ From where I stood, I could see #301, which meant my room was only three doors down. I just needed to get it done and over with, right? _Let's just do it._

With a completely fake, but confident-looking walk, I strode over to #304. My blank face did not show how small and scared I was on the inside. If my Inner Sakura had still existed, she would be cowering in a tight corner of my mind… I held my breath as I put my hand on the doorknob. Would I see Dr. Higa right when I entered the room? Would he be standing there, waiting for me? What was he expecting? Who was he expecting? Some little girl that can't handle her own problems? My hand felt awkward on the cold metal of the knob. I looked down at my hand. I shifted my weight to each foot, several times. What happened to my sudden rush of reaching the door? Where did that adrenaline go? My shoulders sagged and then my perfectly disguised face revealed its true form. Fear. My hand retracted form the knob. _What am I doing!? I have to go in! But… _I don't know why, but I looked down at my wrist where my watch was. There was no reason for me to know the time. I didn't have a set appointment. I was just supposed to walk in on my free will… maybe that's what was so hard about it. Whenever I'm nervous, I always look at my ever-present watch. Time was ticking. Life went on without me, obviously. But it felt like time was still. In this little hallway that was so quiet. I was stuck between going in… or staying right where I stood… But I guess fate had a funny way of showing itself to me, because I didn't even have to choose for myself.

The door swung open quickly and I gasped, surprised, beyond startled. I was freaking out and about ready to hyperventilate. My heartbeat just multiplied by about ten, and my face was mortified. I _really _needed to calm down. I felt sorry for the old man that had opened the door. He probably wasn't expecting to open the door and see an eighteen-year-old girl having a spasm of some sort. "I'm so sorry," he said genuinely. Then he looked at me for the first time and he smiled. He took a step toward me, but I took a step away from him. "You must be Haruno Sakura."

… o … o … o …

… o … o …

… o …

**Authoress's Note:** Ok! Well, there is the OFFICIAL chapter 12. Sorry for making you guys wait so long! I'm a terrible procrastinator. But I absolutely adore everyone who has reviewed or added the story to alerts/favorites! Thank you so much! Well, I had a good time on my trip and I hope al of you are having a fun summer!


	13. Chapter 13

**NOTE: Make sure you have read the new Chapter 12 that was updated on June 23! **

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Thirteen**

"_I'm so sorry," he said genuinely. Then he looked at me for the first time and he smiled. He took a step toward me, but I took a step away from him. "You must be Haruno Sakura."_

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

"Um."

Wide-eyed, mortified expression, lips in a disturbed frown, heavy deep breathing, body slightly trembling… I must have looked like a nutcase. I congratulated myself for managing to summon an 'Um.' At least he knew I hadn't gone mute or anything. I knew later on, after my session with the doctor, I would be going back into the godforsaken elevator and slam my dear forehead against the wall again. Many, many times. Hard. Very, very hard. Maybe I'll even manage to knock out some brain cells. Cells that hold the memory of… but I stopped myself before I started thinking too much about the _accident._ I trembled violently, much like the time when I first entered this building. I had actually forgotten that there was another person present until I heard someone say, "Are you alright?" Then the same voice asked, "You _are_ Haruno Sakura? Right?" The man's voice sounded confused. I continued staring at the old man who seemed to be struggling with my identity. I seemed to have been in a haze. I realized how rude I was being. I was just standing there before an old man who has asked multiple questions and all I said was 'um.' My forehead is going to pay for that later. I actually felt like apologizing to it in advance, but I couldn't worry about that now. Instead of repenting for my unfortunate forehead, I should be apologizing to the man who had a worried look on his face. I shook my head and snapped back to reality.

The old man stared at me and I said very apologetically, "I'm so sorry, sir, but I didn't really hear what you were saying… I, um, was really… um, _startled_ when the door opened…" I felt like an idiot saying that and I felt my head becoming hot and I knew my face was red. How embarrassing…

"Oh," he said, "Well, I was just asking if you were okay… I walked out the door and found a pretty young girl and I was confused for one second." Then he started laughing, but in a nice way. He wasn't making fun of me… but himself… He scratched the back of his neck, which accompanied his nervous chuckle. A gesture that was so familiar…

"I also asked if you were Haruno Sakura…"

"That's me."

He smiled and said, "That's good." Then he turned his back and opened the door that had caused so much trouble. I glared at the door. The stupid wooden door made Dr. Senta's first impression of me a bad one. I hope he realizes that this is not my normal behavior. Right now, everything is wrong. I am not _me._ I am someone else… someone that I barely recognize. Then I stopped my useless musings. This _is _Dr. Senta… right? Oh, God. As if I wasn't humiliated enough, the next question that would be forced out of my mouth would be the cherry on top. "Um…"

Dr. Senta, at least that is who I think he is, was holding the door for me, ever the gentleman, and he turned to face me. "Yes?"

"Um, I _think_ I am in the right place… You _are_ Dr. Senta Higa… right?"

"Well, that was quite rude…"

I could not look at the man anymore. I quickly looked down to the floor. The look on my face must have been mortified… well, _more_ mortified, anyway… Was I an idiot or something? Of course this is the doctor! Why am I asking such an obvious question!? A stupid question deserves a stupid response. I am just so insecure and unsure of myself that I have to double-check everything… every little detail. I may still be the ever-cautious Sakura, but what happened to the girl that used to take caution but was also confident in herself?

And because of my insecurities, I had just assumed that the person Dr. Senta was referring to as 'being rude' was myself. But then he kept talking and then I felt even more like a precarious moron.

"Well, that was quite rude… I didn't even introduce myself. I send my apologies. I simply forgot to tell you my name because I was so glad that you came to see me." The he cleared his throat and he spoke in a professional voice, "It is an absolute pleasure to meet you, Miss Haruno. I am Dr. Senta Higa," then he extended his right hand and I placed my own hand in it as a greeting. As he held my hand he continued saying, "I look forward to working with you and I am here to help you." The way he said it, it was so blatantly obvious that he had said the same exact words to every single patient he has ever had. Was I just another patient? Just another name on his list of problematic-people? What a horrible way to think…

He released my hand and I let it fall limply to my side. He smiled at me and I fake smiled back. His hand then gestured to the open door, inviting me in. I slowly went first as he held the door. I would have preferred for him to be in front of me rather than behind so he could lead me in the unfamiliar room. I didn't know where I was supposed to be going, so I simply stepped into the room and stopped to wait for some kind of instructions._ What have I done to deserve this? Was it all the times that I punched anyone who annoyed me or looked at me funny? Or for the people I have killed, even though they were villains and thie_ves _and murderers…? But every ninja has to defend him/herself… so why_ me_? I just seem to have bad luck these days apparently… Please,_ I begged to whoever could or would listen to me,_ Please make this experience as painless as possible…_

As I silently and awkwardly stood in the room, I noticed that this was not the room where I would be pouring out my feelings and explaining my nightmares… The room I stood in seemed to be a waiting room. There were numerous chairs lined around three of the four walls. Tsunade had said that Dr. Senta no longer saw patients… Maybe this was his old office… that had to be the only explanation…

"Well, Miss Haruno, this way please." Dr. Senta gestured toward yet another door. A door that I hadn't noticed before. What happened to the ever-observant ninja that I used to be? I shivered at the thought of picturing myself on a mission. I would lead to my entire team's demise…

I must have been spacing off again because Dr. Senta repeated my name and looked at me with concerned eyes. He was once again opening the door for me, and this time, I knew that that was the room where I would sit on the couch and wait as the doctor asked me questions and I would have to answer them. I could even see the brown couch in the dimly-lit room through the open door. I sighed. _This is it… Anything to get better… right?_ I took a deep breath and put on another fake smile that seemed to stop before it hit my eyes.

I entered the room and made a beeline for the couch. I plopped down to take a seat and put one leg over the other. It seemed very business-like. I wasn't in the mood to be all friendly. Unfortunately, Dr. Senta didn't agree with my methods. I guess he wanted to make things easier for me, even though it was really making it harder for me. It's like he wants us to be friends rather than having the doctor-patient relationship that I intended on having. Dr. Senta was all smiles when he started the session. I wanted to get right down to the hard part, but no. The first question was, "How are you today, Miss Haruno?" I simply shrugged and said, "Fine." Which is the automatic response that most people would say. Then he asked, "How would you describe yourself, Miss Haruno?" I shrugged, again, and said that I didn't know. Honestly, I could think of a few adjectives at this very moment that could describe myself, but I wouldn't want to say them out loud. It would sound like I hated myself or something… Then Dr. Senta tried to help me with my answering by asking, "Do you consider yourself a responsible person?" Responsible? Me? Well….yeah. "I guess so." Dr. Senta nodded as if we were having a conversation rather than a session. I didn't see how these questions were ever going to help me get rid of my problem. He kept asking me more questions that I categorized as "useless." My responses were always either a shrug combined a simple one-word answer, or I would nod or shake my head. Not feeling too chatty today…

I barely even listened to his questioning and I ignored the noise of the doctor's pencil's scratching noise as he wrote down whatever he was writing on his paper. But then he asked me question that surprised me. "Miss, Haruno," he asked, "Do you enjoy what you do? You are a medic, correct?" I nodded, confirming that I was, in-fact, a doctor, just like him. "Have you always wanted to be a medic?"

This time I answered the first and the last question. "Of course I enjoy my work. Why else would I do it? And I've wanted to be a medic since I was twelve. I can't picture myself as anything else." That was the longest response that I have ever had throughout this entire interrogation. Maybe it was because I was so passionate about the subject… Maybe it was because I didn't like the way that Dr. Senta's voice was so calm and cool when he asked if I had always wanted to be a doctor… Or maybe it was because the topic of me being a medic was a touchy subject for me because I am currently on a hiatus/vacation. An unwanted vacation.

Dr. Senta nodded and asked yet another question that I actually paid attention to. "Why did you want to become a medic?" Everyone I know, well, okay, maybe all of the people who _know_ me, know why I became I medic. To become stronger. To prove that I wasn't weak. First, I did it for Sasuke, but then I trained for myself and for everyone whom I held close to my heart. I wanted to be able to help and protect everyone around me… There was a long pause before I answered. I could have given the doctor a _very_ long answer, but I hose to put it as simple as I could. "I became a medic… to help people." He nodded again.

"Who are the people you want to help?"  
"Everyone… especially my friends…"

"Before you became a medic, did you think that you _couldn't_ help people?"

"…"

"Miss Haruno?"

I sighed, swallowed my pride, and spoke, "Before I became a medic…" I sighed again. This was still a sensitive subject to me. It always has been, but I hope it won't always be. "I was weak. To my teammates… to my friends… no one would really say anything, but I knew that I was a burden to them. I was never really much help. So finally I had had enough. I went to Lady Tsunade and asked to be her apprentice."

"That was quite brave of you…"

I didn't say anything after that. I waited for the next question to come. But I had an idea where the next couple of questions were headed.

"How about now?" I didn't understand exactly what Dr. Senta was saying so I slightly tilted my head to the side. Then he continued, "How do you think your friends think of you now? How do _you_ think of yourself now?"

"Well," I said, "My friends and I are on the same turf now. They acknowledge my strength and I know that I am no longer weak."

Dr. Senta smiled, and I almost wanted to smile, too. Almost. But I didn't. But I think there might have some kind of new light in my eyes. But then, s I looked at Dr. Senta's face, it seemed that his eyes had taken a darker tone. I was confused but waited for his next question, nonetheless.

"Miss Haruno… do your friends know about what happened?"

I didn't get it. I squinted my eyes, thinking about what he was talking about… I still did not get it. "What happened…?"

The doctor cleared his throat. "Do your friends know the 'accident?' Do they know what happened to make you come here for help?"

My stomach dropped. I started sweating, but I felt really cold. I stared down at my hands, and they seemed to have lost their pigment. My face must have gone pale. All of the friendly questions were over. Finally we were getting to the real issue. I remember having walked in here and wanting to get the hard part done and over with… but now… Now I wish that I could somehow avoid these painful questions. There really wasn't anyway that I could escape them. If I remained silent, the doctor would know the answer to his questions. If I stayed quiet he would just assume that none of my friends knew what was going on with me. And that was true. I hadn't told anyone. I hadn't even been in contact with my friends for who knows how long. I was about to shake my head, confirming that no one knew what was going on. But before that, for some reason, I quickly made a mental list of all the people who knew. There's Tsunade, of course. The ANBU who had guarded my room at the hospital were probably just given orders to guard me and they did not know _why_ they were to protect me. Then there's Dr. Tanaka, the doctor that the ANBU brought into my room… but I'm sure he wasn't informed of what happened. I will _not_ include the person who caused all of this on the list… And I'm sure that Tsunade informed Dr. Senta what happened. Probably just vague details. So, just two. Two people… My mind was blank for a second, trying to make sure that I had gotten everyone. And then I wanted to slap my forehead, again. Kakashi. Hatake Kakashi. _How _did I forget him!? He knows! He _knows!_

My hands suddenly slapped against the couch. It was so noiseless in the room, and the sudden nosie made Dr. Senta slightly jump. About a minute ago I had felt like a quiet little mouse that just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide myself. But now… I don't know why… after remembering that Kakashi knew… I just… I can _feel_ something in my system, in my veins. It almost felt like excitement. I had a friend. I had a friend who _knew._ I've already lost a part of my mind, for sure, because this just seemed like a _HUGE_ deal. I wanted to jump up from the couch and start yelling or singing or something! I could barely contain myself. I couldn't stop the rush. It was some kind of high.

I looked straight at Dr. Senta and said, "Yes! I have a friend who knows. He is the only one, though. The rest of my friends don't know." I wondered if the sudden excitement in my voice made him wonder if he was dealing with a mental patient.

But instead, he smiled and asked, "Who is this person that has gotten you all excited?"

If I had actually thought before I opened my big mouth, I wouldn't have answered this question. But I wasn't thinking so I ended up blurting out, "Hatake Kakashi."

"Hatake Kakashi? The copy-nin?"

"Um… yeah… you see… he was my old sensei… we… we're just friends…"

"I see," he nodded, "How does he know what happened?"

"Um…" I actually didn't know. Kakashi had just been in the hospital room and I was told to ask him if I had any questions… so he knows… but… _how?_

"I don't know," I whispered.

Dr. Senta sat back in his chair, completely relaxed. All he said was, "Hm." Then he said, "Miss Haruno, this is going to be hard, and take your time, but I need to hear you explain what happened. Lady Hokage told me the basics, but I need to know the whole story."

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

It took awhile. One, because it was a long and complicated story to tell. Two, because I had a hard time telling it. It took longer than necessary, but the doctor didn't seem to mind. He listened and did not interrupt. He couldn't tell if he nodded or if he did anything because my eyes stayed on the floor the whole time. There were a few holes to my story. I didn't know how I had gotten to the hospital or how long I had been there, but apparently I was supposed to ask Kakashi for those answers. I told that to Dr. Senta. That was the last thing I told him. So now, we are both just sitting in the abnormally quiet room. I was slightly uncomfortable, but Dr. Senta was scribbling something on a piece of paper. I waited patiently because that was all I _could _do.

It took me by great surprise when Dr. Senta stood up. I didn't know if I should get up too, so I just stayed where I was on the couch. Dr. Senta walked over to a cabinet and took out a transparent-orange cylinder. Then he came toward me, caring the orange container. "Miss Haruno," he started. I stood up and took one step toward the man. "Our session is over for today," I nodded, "But, Miss Haruno, you have some homework to do."

"Homework?"  
"Yes. I need you to talk to Mr. Hatake and find out as much information as you can so we can fill up those holes." He smiled and I just said 'okay'. I glanced down at Dr. Senta's hand that held the orange cylinder.

"Um…" I said.

"Ah," he said, "This is some medication to help you sleep peacefully." I looked at the transparent container and saw tightly packed blue oval pills. I still stared at his hand as he handed me the pills and he started to explain the directions of taking the pills. I was to take a pill every night with a full glass of water before I go to sleep. _Pills… pills…_ The word kept repeating in my head. My late mother has always taught me that you don't take pills that were not prescribed. It seemed like a bad thing as I held the container in my hand. I looked at the label and of course I was familiar with the name. I _was_ a doctor. I have actually prescribed these exact pills to my very own patients. But I have _never _taken pills before. Not this kind of medication. "I… um…"

"Is there something wrong, Miss Haruno?"

I sighed. I didn't want to sound like a little kid, but I had to ask. "Is there any way to get rid of my sleeping trouble, with_out _taking pills?"

This time, Dr. Senta sighed. "I'm afraid not. Until you start accepting what happened to you, you'll keep having those horrible nightmares."

I felt like scoffing. "I _do _accept what hap­­­–"

"Miss, Haruno," he actually cut me off, "This is hard, but please, just use the pills for a few days and see what happens. Next time you come in, you'll know more of what happened by asking Mr. Hatake, and then we'll be closer to solving this problem. Okay?"

"Fine," I said, giving up on arguing with the calm man, "When is the next time you want me to come in?"

"Well, you are welcome to come whenever you need to, but I want you here again in at least five days, okay?"

I nodded. Dr. Senta then gave me a card with his name and his phone number, "just in case you need to talk to someone at some strange hour," is what he said. I turned toward the door that, of course, was already held open for me. Dr. Senta walked me out. And when I say out, I mean all the way down the hall, to the elevator door. He even pushed the down button for me. I smiled, it wasn't fake, but it was a very small smile, barely noticeable. But Dr. Senta did smile back. He truly was a gentleman. "Good bye, Miss Haruno, have a great day." He turned away and walked back to his office. I whispered a "you too" but I don't think he heard me. I heard the door to room #304 close and then the bell of the elevator rang and the door opened. I looked inside the elevator and I stepped back, away from the machine. I clutched the orange container and the small card in my hand and made my way toward the stairs. I opened the large white door to the emergency staircase and when I stepped on the first step, the sound of my heel hitting the concrete made an echo. I stood there and with my free hand, I took out my cell phone from my pocket. I flipped open the phone and pressed down on the number '3' for a few seconds. It was speed dial. I listened to the ringing and waited. I did a lot of waiting today so I was used to it. Then the ringing stopped and I heard a muffled, "Hello?"

I sighed. Took a deep breath and responded to the greeting. I continued down the stairs with my heels echoing again. And those echoes were accompanied with the echo of my voice saying, "Hey-ey-ey, Kakashi-i-i…"

… o … o … o …

… o … o …

… o …

**Authoress's Note: **Okay, it took almost a month. I am so very sorry. And this story is going quite slowly… but I'm gonna try to pick it up… make it go faster… I tried to make up my lack of writing by making this chapter long. It's the longest chapter yet!


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Fourteen**

_I listened to the ringing and waited. I did a lot of waiting today so I was used to it. Then the ringing stopped and I heard a muffled, "Hello?"_

_I sighed. Took a deep breath and responded to the greeting. I continued down the stairs with my heels echoing again. And those echoes were accompanied with the echo of my voice saying, "Hey-ey-ey, Kakashi-i-i…"_

... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ... o ...

It was set. The time… the place… it was a date. Not literally, of course, just the expression. Kakashi and I will meet up in a half hour at a small teahouse in the northern part of Konoha. And now I am already making my way to the teahouse. It was all the way on the other side of the village, which is quite a distance. If I used the rooftops it would take somewhere between five to ten minutes. So, I decided to just walk there slowly to take up time. I would probably still be a little early, but I had no problem with that. I didn't want to go back home right now…

I always enjoy a nice long walk, but I never really had the chance to walk to places before because I was always busy with _something._ But now that I'm on vacation… But it doesn't _feel_ like I'm on a vacation. You are supposed to _enjoy _your vacation. I'm not exactly in paradise right now. I feel more like I'm… obsolete. That's the perfect word to describe my condition: obsolete. I'm useless to everyone around me… Well, doesn't _that_ sound familiar?

I have now just realized that when I am alone, I start thinking about things that I would rather keep on hold, so, it would make sense if I wanted to be around someone so I could keep my mind off all of my troublesome matters… but no. I really _don't_ want to be around anyone. I don't even want to be in the world right now. I just… I don't know what I want. All I know is that I am _completely_ screwed up in the head.

I kept my steady pace and looked at all the buildings around me. There were only a few people on the streets. It wasn't quite noon yet. Maybe that's why Kakashi's voice was muffled. He probably went back to sleep after he left my house and had gone to Tsunade. He was probably still sleeping when I called. Part of me felt bad, but the other felt satisfied. He's always so lazy. If I hadn't called, more than likely, he would have been in bed for a few more hours, or until his stomach woke him up, begging for food. I slightly shook my head. He was _supposedly_ a grown man. He needs a wife or someone to get him off his butt. I slowed down at little. _Where did that come from? Why would I think that Kakashi needs a female companion? He doesn't need anyone. He's fine._ What the hell is _wrong_ with me? My thoughts seem to get weirder and weirder… I stopped walking and looked down at my hands, something I do when I question myself. And I noticed that in my hand, I still held the name card and the pills. My eyes widened. I felt so _exposed._ Here I was, walking around the village, passing people, and I held the name card of a _psychiatrist_ and a container of_ sleeping pills._ Why don't I just go on top of Hokage Mountain with a megaphone and scream to the entire village that I'm seeing a shrink and am taking pills! I slapped my forehead with my free hand, and unconsciously I said, "Ouch," because it actually _hurt._ Out of all the times I've hit my head, I've never really seemed to be affected by it. But now, I actually felt _pain._ That just _proves_ how stupid I've been lately. Hitting my forehead is simply a reaction I do when I feel like an idiot. I've never done so many stupid things in a few days.

I sighed. I couldn't exactly hide the container in my pocket, considering that my pants were kind of tight. I was lucky I fit my cell phone in one of the pockets. I quickly stashed the name card in with my phone. I closed my hand around the label of the container so no one would see the name at least. I looked around, desperately trying to come up with a plan. _Why hadn't I brought a purse!?_ I wanted to rip my hair out. I'll probably end up prematurely bald from all the stress this is causing me. I really hope that a few years from now, I'll be able to laugh at this part of my life. I really, _really, REALLY _hope I'll be able to laugh… otherwise… I don't know, but I _really_ feel like punching something right now! _That sounded like the old me, didn't it…_ _ Maybe I _am_ fixable…_

I seemed to have calmed down, just by this small thought. A small thought that meant a lot to me. Around me, there were a few people at their carts ready to sell their product. Some of these venders I recognized. It all made sense now. It is _so_ true that you can't think when you panic. And now that my mind is calm, I have just figured out a plan to hide my pills. My mood seems to have lightened by the fact that my brain seems capable of working clearly again. Things are going back to normal, even if only slightly.

I knew where I was, and I knew some of the venders personally by either having bought things from them or because I have healed them in the past or a combination of the two. I clutched the orange container tightly, still covering the label. I spotted one cart with a woman standing behind it. She sold produce.

I walked over, but the woman was crouched down, arranging some brown bags. I wanted to smile, but I didn't, of course. Brown bags. That's what I'm here for. I didn't want to be rude, but I wanted to get this done quickly. I cleared my throat and the large, older woman spun around, literally. Her hands flew up in the air and she said in an apologizing tone, "Oh, excuse me, dear! What would you like today?" The woman didn't have her glasses on; therefore, she didn't recognize me.

"Um, Mrs. Ebb… it's me… Sakura…"

Mrs. Ebb squinted her old, weary eyes, and as she did so, more wrinkles formed on her face. She must have registered my unmistakable pink hair and large green eyes because realization seemed to have washed over her. "Sakura, dear!" she exclaimed, "I haven't seen you for so long!" My mouth formed a slight upward curve to it, an automatic half-smile, but it was just a smile on the outside. It wasn't Mrs. Ebb that bothered me, of course. I was just in a bitter mood. But I wouldn't want the nice, old woman to be affected by my not-so-attractive mood, so the slight smile was present.

"Hello, Mrs. Ebb. It really _has_ been a long time."

"Yes, yes." Then Mrs. Ebb started patting her hands around her waist and then her hips, as if she were feeling for something. "Ah ha!" she exclaimed when she felt a lump in one of her many pockets of her heavy coat. She took out her high-prescription glasses. I would know. I was the one who diagnosed her prescription about two years ago. The woman was practically blind without them…

Mrs. Ebb clapped her hands together and asked, "How may I help you?"

"Well…" I really had no idea what I wanted. I didn't want to just ask for bag, and if I stole one, which I could easily do without her noticing, I would feel bad. I looked at the different assortments of produce… fruits… and vegetables… that all I had to choose from. It shouldn't be this difficult!

"Um… dear…"

Poor Mrs. Ebb. She was probably wondering what was taking so long and why I can't just pick some random item. "The apples are some of the best that I've had for a while,…" she said, trying to help me out. She's too sweet.

"Then I'll have an apple, please."

"Just one?" She almost sounded sad when she said this. I actually felt guilty.

"Um… then I'll take two." Mrs. Ebb's smiled became larger. I wish I could be more like her. Simple things made her happy. _ Very_ simple things.

She took two red, shiny apples and reached down for the brown paper bag that I've been waiting for. My eyes never left the bag when she started making small talk.

"So, Sakura, dear," she started, "I didn't see you at the office the other day."

"The other day?"

"Yes, Yuki came in for his yearly physical, and you usually do it… so when you weren't there, we were surprised. It took several minutes to convince the poor boy to allow another doctor to see him." Yuki is Mrs. Ebb's nine-year-old grandson. Her very sweet grandson. I now felt horrible about myself.

"Oh… Um, sorry about that…" I watched as she placed the apples in the bag.

"It's alright dear, you deserve a break after all the work you do."

The bag was still in her hands. "Huh. It's funny that you should say that…" Mrs. Ebb's head tilted a little to the side, and I continued, "You see… I'm actually on a break right now… a… vacation…"

"Oh! Good for you! You deserve it!"

"Thanks… yeah, I… I deserve it." _Yeah, I__deserve being obsolete. Let's all throw a party…_ Mrs. Ebb folded the top of the brown bag and she reached over her cart and _finally_ handed me the bag. I quickly grabbed it and I regretted my hastiness. I really hope Mrs. Ebb didn't notice my sudden rush. The old woman smiled at me, so I guess she didn't notice, or maybe she did but just didn't say anything.

"How much will it…" I started, but stopped. Not just because Mrs. Ebb quickly interrupted me.

"Nonsense!" she exclaimed, "After all the things you have done for my family! The least I can do is give you two free apples!" I wanted to look up to the sky and raise my hands to the heavens. This may be the only good luck that I've received and that I'll be receiving for a while. When I had started my sentence earlier, I had just realized that I didn't bring my wallet with me. My hands started sweating. I clutched the orange pill container more tightly.

I normally would have declined the kind offer, but not this time. "Well," I said, "If you insist." I now held the bag in my left hand while my right hand was hidden behind my back. I took a small step backward, preparing to retreat from the cart. "Well, I have to go…"

"Alright! Come again, dea–"

My stomach dropped. Mrs. Ebb's voice abruptly stopped because of the abrupt "thump" and "rattle" noise. _Something_ just fell on the cement road and s_omething_ in that _something_ made a rattling noise. Gee, I wonder what it was? The _something_ rolled on the uneven surface of the road and no; it didn't roll in my direction. Mrs. Ebb slowly crouched down and picked up, of all things, the orange container that had slipped out of my hand. _Oh, shit._ Her eyebrows scrunched together and my mouth hung agape. I looked like a fish out of water. "Are these yours?"

My loose jaw shut and the muscles tightened. I grabbed the bottle from her hands with more swiftness than when I had grabbed the brown bag. I quickly made up an excuse to get me out of the unfortunate situation. "No. They are not mine." I inwardly rolled my eyes. _Some excuse. That's a pathetic excuse for an excuse._

"Um…. You see, they are for a patient of mine…" Then I just remembered that I was on break, which meant that I would not be seeing any patients…

"Well, um, I'm on break… but… I…" I finished that sentence in my head. _But…. I…_ _I am an idiot._ "I… promised a patient of mine that that I would get them some of this medicine… and I promised them _before _I went on break… so… yeah. That's it." _That's my story and I'm sticking to it._

"Oh." Mrs. Ebb smiled and her eyebrows straightened out. "You are such a nice and giving girl, Sakura."

"Oh, yeah. That's me. Always giving! Giving, giving, giving…" I sighed.

"Well, you better get going then. The weather seems like it will be getting terrible…" Mrs. Ebb looked up at the sky. And then I followed suit. "Oh, shit… oh, sorry..." I always try my best not to curse outside of my head, but sometimes it slips. I apologized because Mrs. Ebb is not the type of person to curse and I didn't want to do it around her. But I couldn't really help it. When I got out of the house this morning… it was relatively sunny… I think… I don't recall any dark clouds. The dark clouds and the gray sky caught me off guard. The sky gave off an ominous feeling that I just didn't _like._

Mrs. Ebb was rambling on about packing up her cart soon before the weather hit and then I said my farewell and she told me to come see her anytime I want.

I picked up my pace into a fast walk and I stuffed the troublesome container of pills into the brown bag that carried my two apples. I didn't care if I was ten or fifteen minutes early. I was going to have to wait anyway. Kakashi wasn't exactly known for his punctuality. Quite the opposite, in fact. As long as I got under some kind of roof before the storm hit, then I would be a fairly content konoichi. For the moment.

I kept at my fast pace and watched everyone around me prepare for the storm. How did I not know about this!? I guess I've been excluded from the world a little _too_ long. I really needed to catch up. Well, all I needed was one conversation with Ino, and I'd be all caught up with everything that is going on in the world. I actually missed my blonde friend. What was she up to these days? What was _everyone_ up to these days?

I knew I was getting closer to the teahouse. Much closer. Nearly there. I glanced back to the sky and the dark clouds seemed to be closer, following me. I narrowed my eyes to them, as if it would really matter. I could then make out the shape of the teahouse. There wasn't anyone waiting outside of it, except for one tall man standing outside, leaning against the building with his arms crossed over his chest. I could make out a few people leaving and a few entering. I kept walking quickly, but then I felt something wet on my bare arm. A raindrop. _So it has finally started. At least I beat the rain. Poor Kakashi. He's going to get wet. Well, that's what he gets for always making people wait. And he better not wait until the rain stops. I'll be pissed off if he does. _

I quickened my walk so I could make it to the teahouse before the lone raindrop was accompanied with more of its kind. I felt content enough when I was within a few yards from the teahouse. But I couldn't believe what my eyes saw. I didn't move, just stood right in front of the building. I checked my watch. I still had a good ten minutes to get here at the scheduled time… and yet…

"Sakura, do you think it's smart to stand out there when it's about to pour?" came the lazy, usually uninterested voice of the man who was leaning against the wall of the teahouse. This time, though, the voice sounded mocking. Joking around. Playing around with me. The voice belonged to none-other-than my old sensei.

"K-Kakashi?"

"Hm?" He looked up at me.

"Y-you… you're here."

"Of course."

"But you're _here._ _Early._ Before _me._"

Kakashi chuckled at me, obviously amused. I walked up to him and stood underneath the small canopy that the teahouse provided. "Ready to go in?" he asked. He turned around and headed toward the door, but I stopped him by putting my hand on his shoulder.

"Kakashi, is my watch wrong or something? Because… this makes no sense! I don't… Er…" I sounded utterly confuse, and I was. Is something wrong with him?

He chuckled again at me and turned to face me. Then I asked, "Is _your_ watch wrong? Because…"

"Sakura," he stopped me in mid-rant, "When have I ever owned a watch?"

"Well… I don't recall…"  
"Sakura," he said in an even tone, "I wasn't going to keep you waiting." I slowly let my hand slip from his shoulder and became quiet. _"I wasn't going to keep you waiting."_ Those words seemed very important for some reason. It felt like I should remember this sentence, his exact words. I already had the words permanently memorized in my brain.

"Oh," was all I could say. The bag in my hand felt lighter, as did the head on my shoulders. Was I floating?

"Should we go in now?" I just nodded my head. He turned and walked to the door as I followed. He opened the door for me, which was all too familiar for me today. I gratefully walked in and I felt him behind me. He was very calm. The opposite of what I've been feeling lately. He never seems to get flustered like I do. He's always aloof, seeming like he's not exactly there mentally, but he always is… He doesn't get upset or hold childish grudges… he was a _man_. Kakashi would only get upset over something that was… _worth_ getting upset over. _I_ wasn't exactly all there mentally when Kakashi slipped in front of me, leading us to a table. I just followed his back. If someone where talking to me, I wouldn't have been able to hear them.

We sat down at a small table that was only meant for two people. Kakashi and I sat across from each other. I placed my brown bag on the floor next to my legs. Kakashi must have noticed the bag because he asked, "Went shopping?"

"Um… sorta… I bought some… hm." I stopped talking. I crouched down and opened my brown bag and pulled out an apple. I held it in my long fingers, as if I were displaying it, trying to sell it off. "Want an apple?" I asked. It came out so naturally. I wasn't even embarrassed. It felt like it was okay to say this because… I felt comfortable around Kakashi.

Kakashi shrugged. "Sure." He made it seem like it _was_ the most natural thing to say. I smiled and handed him the red apple. I smiled. I actually _smiled._ It was _real._ I haven't felt this real in a long time, and it felt too refreshing, but not refreshing enough. I wanted more. I wanted to feel like this more often.

The waiter came and asked if we were ready. I nodded my head and looked at Kakashi, making sure he was too. And he was. Everything seemed too perfect. "I'll just have water." The waiter nodded and looked at Kakashi. "Gyokuro tea." The waiter nodded again and was off.

"Sakura, we're in a teahouse."

"Um, I know that."

"And you got water."

"Your point being…?"

Kakashi sighed and gave up. He leaned further into his chair and slouched a bit more, getting comfortable. I laughed at his exasperated face. He was obviously just putting on the show for my sake, and I loved him for that. And I just realized that I laughed. I _laughed._ If the smile was a big deal, this was _colossal. _

"Oh my goodness…" I breathed out as I said this.

Kakashi didn't say anything but he looked up to stare at my face, obviously wanting me to continue.

"Well, I… I haven't laughed in a while…it's nice."

Kakashi nodded. "I bet."

And that's how it started. It started so naturally. Everything that has happened so far seems… just the way it should be. There was never an awkward silence. If a silence were to occur, it was comfortable. I could relax. For now.

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**Authoress's Note: ** I updated pretty quick! And the chapter is long again! I thank everyone who has reviewed. I try to get at least 10 reviews per chapter. That's my goal. So I usually wait until I get 10 reviews to update again, but this time I didn't wait. I wanted to post the chapter for you guys. Remember! REVIEW, please!


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** I. DO. NOT. OWN. NAR.U.TO. Obviously.

**Mind, Body, and Spirit**

**Chapter Fifteen**

"_Oh my goodness…" I breathed out as I said this._

_Kakashi didn't say anything but he looked up to stare at my face, obviously wanting me to continue._

"_Well, I… I haven't laughed in a while…it's nice."_

_Kakashi nodded. "I bet."_

_And that's how it started. It started so naturally. Everything that has happened so far seems… just the way it should be. There was never an awkward silence. If a silence were to occur, it was comfortable. I could relax. For now._

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It was quiet. The teahouse was quite small, and it wasn't even half full. The rain must have been the cause of it. By the time Kakashi and I went in, the rain had not started, only the lonesome raindrop that had fallen upon my arm was evidence that it would rain… and the extremely foreboding clouds that seemed to envelope the sky. I had perfect timing. By the time Kakashi and I had sat down and ordered our drinks, the village of Konoha was officially covered with a light mist of rain. Then, when we received our drinks, it was a downpour. Tons and tons of water kept pouring and it made you wonder where all of the water came from. How could so much liquid come from _one _sky? Whatever the answer may be, I was glad. I enjoyed the rain when it came in rare occasions. I could never live without the sun, of course, but a little bit of calming rain was a nice change from the constantly hot sun. The rain calmed me. I've always known this. But I've never had such an important reason to be calmed by the rain. The rain seemed to be the perfect antidote for my frenzied condition. I was seriously in heaven right now. The rained kept me calm, and the person who sat across from me kept me comfortable. Right in this very spot, under these exact circumstances, I could relax and smile without a worry. With the combination of the rain and Kakashi, I wish time would stop until I was able to face the world without either of these things. Well, I could live without the rain. I've never been known as a calm person anyway. So let's just throw that out of my head before I'm convinced that I _am _an unexcitable person. But… comfort… shouldn't everyone be granted the luxury of being comfortable? If you aren't comfortable with your life, what kind of life are you living?

The table where Kakashi and I sat was next to an empty booth that was next to a window. We were both staring at the scene outside. The wind was blowing pretty swiftly, causing the rain to fall in a slanted direction. Loose leaves from trees flew in swirls, and even some papers from telephone poles went flying. The world outside wasn't safe, but inside, everything was fine. Maybe that's why I was calmed by storms.

There were constant flashes and subsequent low rumbles of thunder. I enjoyed the sound. It was like the earth was trembling, shivering, shaking. It was still quiet as we sat there. Kakashi always seemed comfortable wherever he was. He could have been in his living room, based on the easy-going expression on his face. Kakashi was anything _but_ self-conscious. If he actually cared what other people thought of him, I don't think he would be late to every meeting he was supposed to attend or read those awful little orange books of his in public. His relaxed nature was contagious. I felt light-headed. I was practically in a trance. My face muscles were completely loose, except for the slight smile that pulled my muscles upward. If I _really_ wanted to, I could close my eyes right now and fall asleep… _"Ah," he said, "This is some medication to help you sleep peacefully."_ My half-shut eyes flew open. I suddenly felt heavy, grounded, no longer light. My jaw tightened.

"Kakashi… we… we came here for a reason." My eyes looked down to the table. I wonder if Kakashi was surprised that I brought up the subject myself, rather than him having to do it. I wonder if he was relieved. I wonder if he didn't really care. I wonder… I looked up, but Kakashi was still looking out the window. I gulped. I wasn't afraid, but it just seemed like a good enough reaction. I sat quietly, waiting, looking at my cold glass of water. But the silence was too long. I looked back up and Kakashi hadn't moved. It kind of bothered me. His elbow was on the table with his arm in a vertical position. His hand held his chin as he stared out the window. Maybe he hadn't heard me.

"Um… Kakash–"

"What do you want to know, Sakura?"

I sighed and slumped down in my chair. I felt like blowing a hair that wasn't in my face. When Kakashi had talked, I was almost startled. Surprised, really. His voice was so fierce. It's like he was the one who had had the horrible experience. As if it was a sore topic to talk about for _him_. I was discouraged to actually talk about it now.

"Kakashi… um…"

Didn't Kakashi understand how uncomfortable I am talking about this?! For me to have the courage to bring it up and then having him sound like he did _not _want to talk about it… I sunk deeper into my chair. Something I never did. I rarely have bad posture, thanks to a certain father of mine. I pursed my lips. I had sudden flashes in my head. A key. A note. An empty house…

It had been raining that day... Of course. It had been my mother's funeral. Three weeks prior that day, my mother had died. Those few weeks were so clear in my memory. One of the things I remember the most was that my dad was there…

My dad was always gone on business. He was never home. At least that's what it felt like. He always made an effort to come home for two or three days every month, but it didn't feel like he belonged there or lived in the house with my mother and me. Whenever he came home, I would be thrilled and give him a huge hug at the doorway as he entered the house with his suitcase… but then give me a day or so… and I couldn't wait for the day he would leave. All he ever did was criticize me when I was around. I got so annoyed. I never wanted to go home when he was there. For those few days, I would hang out with anyone who was available. I remember on one especially pathetic situation I had practically _begged_ Ino to tell Tsunade that she couldn't go on her mission, just so she could hang out with me after my hospital shift. Ino said she really needed the money and she couldn't back out of it. She was the only one who knew about my dad, and I felt horrible for making her feel guilty. After work that day, I decided to train instead. Which went awful, based on the fact that I had a busy day at the hospital and I was drained of energy.

The day my mother died, my dad was informed and he arrived in Konoha the next night. My father was not a talkative person, but he always made conversation. But when he got home, he didn't say anything to me, and I didn't say anything back. The relationship between my father and I, that had taken sixteen years to build at the time, went from not-so-great to practically nonexistent. My father stayed in the house with me for the three weeks until my mother's funeral. After that day… I started a new life…

"_Dad," I called my dad through the light rain. The ceremony was over. _Rest in peace, mother,_ I thought, as I stared at the grave. I turned to my dad. "I'm going to go talk to Mr. Goto to set everything… make sure everything is… official. I probably won't be home until late…" My voice was void and dead. My dad simply nodded his head, which was completely expected. We were the only ones still at the cemetery. My dad walked up to my mother's new grave and kneeled down. He put his hands together in a prayer, mumbled something, and said, "I love you, Akina." My dull eyes watched this scene. My eyes looked uninterested. But looks can be deceiving. My dad got up, lightly brushed off his pants, and headed toward the direction of our house without looking back at me._

_It took several hours to get everything situated with Mr. Goto. But it was done. It might have seemed odd that the sixteen-year-old daughter rather than the husband of the deceased person would be the one signing the papers and reading the official documents… but that was the case. I was the one who lived in Konoha. I was the one who knew my mother best. I was the one who had access to everything she had. My dad's family may have lived in Konoha and his house may be in Konoha and he may have been _born_ in Konoha, but that did not make him a part of this village's community. That did not make him part of _my_ community. It only made sense for me to take care of the important things. I wonder if my dad realizes that…_

_I made my way to my house with straying thoughts in my head. Now that all the big fuss is over, will my dad leave? Will he stay and act like a good parent and help me through these times? If he stays, how _long_ will he stay? _

_I reached my house and put my hand on the doorknob. It was unlocked. I opened the door and walked into my dark house. The lights weren't on for some reason. My dad should have left them on. That was the first sign that something was wrong. I took a step forward and something under my shoe made a "cling" noise that sounded like metal. I removed my foot from the offending object, switched on the light, and looked down. In the middle of the hall, on the floor, there was a key… and a note. I scrunched my eyebrows, confused. I picked up both objects and held them in my hands. My stomach dropped and my body became cold. I opened the note, and in an all-too familiar handwriting, it read:  
_**Sakura,**

**I am leaving. This house was always yours and your mother's. Never mine. You and I both know that I do not belong here. I know I am disappointing you by doing this, but there is no other way. I am officially moving to the Wind Country. I am going to open a business there. Konoha is now just a part of my past. My history.**

**The house is now officially in your name. But do not worry about any payments for the house. As long as you have it, I will pay it for. You are welcome to keep the house for as long as you wish.**

**I am so proud of you. You have really grown up and you don't need me here.**

**The next time we meet may be many, many years from now. And I'll be looking forward to it.**

** Dad**

_My lips went in a straight line. _

_I _was_ disappointed in him._

_How could he do this?_

_My mother is gone. She was the only real family I had._

_I wanted to run outside and see if I could catch up to him._

_But I didn't._

_I knew I wouldn't. _

_Because it was expected._

_He had to leave._

_Because he was never here._

_I wasn't going to cry._

_Because this is how it should be._

_I folded the note and put my dad's key to the house in my pocket. There wasn't anything I could do. My dad was a disappointment. I knew that. He knew that. The little game was finally over. The ends are tied and it's time to move on. The note made perfect sense and it shows that my father always knew what was happening. He always knew how annoyed I got. He always knew that our relationship would never be what people longed for. He knew, so he ended it. I nodded my head a few times because I accepted everything. _

_I walked up the stairs and into my room. I stripped off my wet black clothes, preparing for a shower. I looked at myself in the mirror and in the reflection; I saw my kunai pouch on my bed. I walked over and took one out. The weapons had just been sharpened, never used yet. I walked back to the mirror and looked at my hip in the reflection. On the left side of my body, right below my stomach and above my hip I have a birthmark. It's just a random shape that doesn't look like anything in particular. I took the kunai and lightly, I cut my skin right on the birthmark with two crossing lines, forming an _**X**_. I did not cut myself for the sake of cutting myself. That would just be plain stupid. I made a mark on my skin to make a vow. The _X_ represents my vow that I will _not_ be upset about my father, I will_ not_ be disappointed by him anymore, and I will _not _need him in my life. I will not be bothered by the fact that I am now just a part of my dad's past. His history. _

- - -

Your past makes your present. If I had never had a dad like that, I would be a different person. Possibly a weaker person. Maybe I should be grateful for what he did two years ago. I had tried to see if there was a way to get some kind of phone number or address a year ago…just to have around… but I never _wanted_ to contact him anyway, so it really shouldn't matter that I _couldn't_ find any way to reach him.

I didn't stay in that house for too long. The day after my mother's funeral and my dad's departure, I went searching for a place on my own. I ended up with a small apartment and six months later, I was able to afford the small townhouse where I live right now. But I never got rid of my mother's old house. The payments are still being made, courtesy of my dad, and I still go there every once and awhile, to check up on everything and water the plants…

I always thought that because my dad made payments on the house, there would be some way to contact him by the bills he was sent. I'm sure there is _some_ document in Konoha that could give me that information, but it could take a while to get it or even get the permission to access it. Why go through the trouble when I didn't even want to call him?

That was _one_ major problem of my life. There have been _way_ too many problems in my life. But maybe that's just the life of the shinobi. It sure is a hard life…

"Sakura?"

"Huh?" I shook my head, jolting back to the present.

"I'm sorry to have sounded… upset. I didn't mean it… I just think about that night and I…well, anyway, I wasn't expecting such a reaction from you. Let's talk about it."

I nodded my head. Kakashi had turned to face me. I must have been daydreaming for a little too long. I always seem to get too caught up in my thoughts. I sighed. The only way to get the questions out… would be to swallow any humiliation I have, and blurt out the questions. _Here it goes._

"Kakashi, I really want this to be as simple and as stress-free as possible…" With my elbows on the tabletop, I held my head in my hands and looked down. Kakashi didn't say anything, but he remained quiet, so I took that as a sign to keep going.

"Kakashi, how long was I in the hospital?"

"Four days."

"How did I get there?"

"I brought you there."

"Huh?" I looked up. "You brought me there? _You?_"

Kakashi closed his eye and nodded.

"How did you… how could you have known I was… in trouble? How did you know where I was…?"

"Right time in the right place?"

I looked at him, waiting for him to explain his answer, even though his answer sounded more like a question.

Kakashi sighed and leaned in closer so our faces were closer and that no one else could hear us. "I was at the memorial that night and then I heard your scream."

"My… scream…" The words entered my brain slowly. Just as slow as I said the words.

"Yeah… I followed your voice and found you. I used my sharingan to calm you. Then I brought you to Tsunade."

I was quiet, but I still looked at Kakashi… _He saved me._ A flash from that night appeared in my head. A red eye… A scar…

_And the last thing I saw before drifting away was a red eye with a scar…_

"I remember," I whispered. "I remember seeing your eye... your scar…"

"Really?" He sounded calm and relaxed and completely chill. Almost uninterested. But that's always how he sounded.

"Yeah…" _He had always been there; even in the beginning… even when I thought I was alone…_ I wanted to cry, but I didn't, of course. Not in front of him.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"No problem."

I smiled widely, a grateful smile. A thankful smile.

"Anything else, Sakura?"

"Oh, um, uh… let me think." I sat back in my chair. Kakashi did the same. It felt like I had all the time in the world to ask my questions. But once I asked them, I received the answers so fast. But this is how I want it to be. No pressure to ask a question, but once it was out, I got an answer quickly so I could move on.

I put my sweating hands against the condensing glass of my drink. My throat felt dry. Then a question hit me.

"Kakashi… did anything happen to me in the hospital? Like… was I injured to an extent that certain measures had to be taken?"

"Well…" he began, "Nothing in particular…" I took a large gulp of my water, relieved. That is, until he continued. "You _did_ get surgery, but Tsunade said it wasn't a big deal."

I started choking on my water. I was coughing, very ungracefully and very un-ladylike.

"S-surgery?"

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**Authoress's Note: **Okay, this chapterkinda just gives a little bit of a background of Sakura… I want to thank everyone who reviewed last chapter. I was surprised about how many I received! Thank you, love you guys!


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